Young and Reckless Before Old and Wise

I know when i was in pre-teen years, i had this paranoia that how would i look like or where would i be when i turned 30.

Though i still haven't hit the big 3 O just yet but i feel myself is aging coz i have some signs of erectile dysfunction. Just joking, the big 3 O is nearing soon to be honest with you.

I mean seriously, every time i scroll down the Facebook, I'll be definitely bombarded with those younger gay boys' posts (i love it when they go nympho and take the shirt off and post in Facebook) - somehow or rather, their posts are not thought-provoking sometimes. Am i disconnecting to the younger generation gradually and heading to the old fags' home?

Maybe the term "aging" is too strong, "mature" sounds better.


Another reason how this mature thingy strikes me is the conversation topics with my close friends are somehow sway into to the grown up men topics. Okay, i admit that i was a SGL  (sei gay lou aka faggot) before and men would always be my favourite topic. But now, i mostly discuss about career, politics, investment and economy. Like yesterday, i had an hour chat in wee hours at the cafe with my friend on Budget 2014. I guess most of the SGL would be discussing about men or bitching about the gay people in Jack D - predictable.

Additionally, i feel myself aging coz i need supplements to maintain my well-being. I always wanted to adopt a healthier lifestyle like eat healthily, sleep early and do exercise regularly but i failed miserably. Really, the staircase will be my worst enemy coz it always cause me shortness of breath. That's why i'm currently scouting for a gym to build up my stamina. Pump up my body? I don't know want to pump up or not coz i would never imagine how would i look like if i become really fit like muscle on every inch of my body. I think body like Justin Bieber will be just nice for me.

Actually i don't like overly fit those kinda body - it looks like walking Michelin. The worst cases that trigger me to bitch about them are fit body with small legs (they look like put chai kou (chinese pudding cake) with two sticks shove into the bottom) AND fit body with small head - if Hollywood wanted to make a movie of Ninja Turtles, definitely, they can be the casts easily(I'm not being bitchy but just look at the turtle and you will get what i mean)

I think i have to stop here coz the more i blog the more bitchy i am. And i'm glad that i didn't mention about settle down here coz the heartbreak kid still wants to play more. Nah, it's not the best time for me to settle down and hardly anyone can open up my heart.

Here is a saying before i end my entry:

You know you're old when your regrets overcome your dreams.

Can't Silence My Love

What do you really check out in Facebook?

I've to be honest with you, aside from the timeline, on regular basis, i'll check out Malaysian Gags, a friend  ex friend of mine who always posts those "OMJ" bimbo and dramatic posts but no one will like it (when nobody likes his posts he will start tagging people - awesome right) and of course some hotties who always give me soft porn as in always flash their skin. Talking about hotties, i'm delighted that an acquaintance of mine had gone from skinny anchovy to sizzling hottie. I knew he was going to gym thingy but i had no idea what the result ensued. And praise the Lord, i'm not sure he is an attention seeker or confidence booster - he posts his shirtless photos almost everyday. And he even reaped off his shirt at Trick Art Museum in iCity - an archangel he called it. I hope those families with little kids and those foreign tourists won't be aroused by his doing.

Anyhow, the other thing i check in Facebook is that the person that i love  harboring my feeling on. I know i'm such a dumbass to do so that but i'm really eager to know how his day was. I know i deserve a tight slap right now as i still couldn't move on although he already attached long time ago. Seeing him with someone else can make me lonely sometimes. 

I'm not saying that i don't have friends but i can't bother them all the time. And they have personal space and things to do also. I'm not implying i'm weak either; i can spend my time on my own (sometimes i could be very busy with my work until do not have time for myself). Having said that, i just want to have someone to call my own. Someone that has so much chemistry to be with and someone that has so much admiration on me and vice versa.

However, i will not rush to any relationship just for the sake of being in relationship.I don't know. I don't think i'm ready for relationship. Coz i don't have a hot body to bait anyone just yet. Nah, i still have this orthodox thinking that beauty lies within. 

I know the fags out there could simply have relationship like a laundry basis but not me. Well, i used to fall so fast to anyone whom i had little crush on but lesson learnt. Things won't work based on crush and based on simply  he is your type. It doesn't work out this way honey.

 I guess i'm not the only one who has this thinking, maybe you too. Take things slowly. Don't rush. I know you are afraid that if you don't take action now, he will be gone. But would you rather to take the risk to have another heartbreak without knowing a person and hook up with him which might stand a chance that things won't work eventually?

Conversely, don't hold your silence too long as he maybe isn't sure you're into him or not whereas he is really into you. Actually, there is no 101 in this thing called love. I did hold my silence once and look what the silence has done to me - writing this lonely blog for those lonely souls out there. Silence doesn't always mean yes it may also mean no but it's better left unsaid. 

If i ever had the chance to break the silence, i would say this to him "I can't live a day without you in my mind. I think about you all the time"

Port Dickson : seafood and cats

So when I told my friend that I was going to Port Dickson or commonly known as PD, they were like 'huh? pd?? So dirty there".

Indeed, it was so dirty. The seashore was like a rubbish dump with food packets top the list. Where the civic minded people go?

Anyhow, to be honest with you, this is my maiden trip to port Dickson. I'm not a beach person but since Tuesday was a off day so why not I spent the weekend with an escapade far off but not too far from KL. Though the actual journey was around an hour but the traffic jam delayed our journey to two hours!

Apparently, the hotel I stayed in was in the new development area named Port Dickson Waterfront - a modern commercial hub facing the sea. I really liked it because the hotel was facing the sea and the F&B outlets were just perfectly adorning the seaside. Let the pictures below narrate my trip:

     

A fantastic point of view but it was not the case in actual as there were trashes hidden between the rocks. However, it was a nice stroll to hear the sound of wave and admired the sunset               

Picture captured at Cape Rachado. You have to hike the hills like half an hour until your breath is taken away by this marvelous view of the Straits of Malacca

Starbucks face the sea - I bet the Starbucks die-hard fans would love this. A brew of hot coffee listening to the sea wave crashing the shore- you can't get this relaxing experience in KL

The other thing I loved about Port Dickson is that cats were everywhere. This pregnant mother cat was captured at the restaurant- she was waiting for me to feed her. How can one resist her innocent eyes; just like Puss in Boots.

Had seafood for dinner at Yun Long Seafood Restaurant. Four dishes which inclusive of prawns is only RM 60!! But the taste was just moderate - lack of culinary skills.

Another cat chilling at the pathway near the sea

The lighthouse at Cape Rachado. It was like 20 minutes drive from Port Dickson to this lighthouse and you have to hike additional 20 minutes to reach this lighthouse.

Xi Wang restaurant which was just diagonally  opposite Yun Long. RM 60 for four dishes which inclusive of a piece of crab. So cheap right?! The taste wise, this one was better but please do bear in mind that this restaurant was rather hot and stuffy. 

Chubby VS Hottie

Though I've been quiet in Facebook lately  but my eyes still can see.

Aside from those dramatic posts from you know who, I'm completely blown away by acquaintance of mine who goes topless. He used to be a skinny lad but he became bigger in size after took up gym routine then booyaah! He posted his shirtless picture in Facebook and it was literally delectable. Not surprise, he had over 300 likes.

So I'm thinking do the gay people here share this common belief that you need a hot lucious body to be accepted in the community or to be the visible ones?

What about those who posses super skinny body or even fat laden body? Sidelined? Unwanted? Or just get out From this community? Imagine they post a shirtless picture in Facebook, no people will even take notice unless those people who have bizarre preferance. 

I've been thinking to hit gym and make my body in shape and take shirtless picture and post it in Facebook to let theworld  to see my nipples.

Just joking, I'm not those attention whores. 

The reason I'm considering to hit the gym is well, I eat a lot so there are some unwanted parts of my body. But the main objective will always be building up my stamina and to have a healthy lifestyle.

Maybe I should put this in my resolution for 2014.

Deliberately indecisive

"So Alvin, what is your weakness"

Every time people ask me this question especially those interviewers, I will pause for awhile coz I never really reflect myself to define my weakness.

I always wanted to answer "I'm not a morning person" but due to formality I couldn't.

Weakness? Please! I'm a Kimora wanna be-there is no such thing called "weakness" in my life.

But to be honest, I think my weakness is that I'll take a long time to deliberate my decision or even judgement. Somehow this will make me indecisive ( especially when it comes to what to eat).

I'm afraid of misjudgment also. If we ever made a wrong decision or even misjudgment, the unwanted regrets will surely ensue.

So yeah, please don't get me wrong if I'm indecisive, I just need a little more time to consider.

 

Like I take a whole lot of time to consider whether should I quit this gay circle and settle down with someone. I'm not joking and I'm not implying I'm turning straight. But just that so sick of this circle sometimes. It's either heartbreaks or get annoyed with those faggots. Really, just open up your jack d and it's like an app for the whores-hardly you can make any friends there and hardly you can see people there with their shirt on. 

And omj (I have no idea what it stands for I think it is referring to oh my jizz) more and more fags are getting shallower. douchewaffle indeed.