Top 10 Wedding Songs

So my bud and I were discussing about wedding songs. I don't have any clues whether my wedding songs will ever be played since my marriage is not legal here. So let's make an assumption that gay is okay here - below are the list of songs that I really wish to be played during my wedding. Or if someone out there want to make my day by melting me, you can play this song for me too (trust me, no Uptown Funk hahaha) :

Here's my top 10 wedding song:

1. Turning Page by Sleeping At Last

Maybe I'm a big fan of Twilight Saga - it would be very cool to have same wedding song, in fact, the song in which Bella walked down the aisle...awww..Even the lyric could melt me. "Nothing prepared me for the privilege of being yours". But wait, this song was taken by my girl friend for her wedding,geez, i don't want to be a copycat.

2. Forever Love by Gary Barlow





"Now my dreams are filled with the times when were together. Guess what I need from here is forever love". Imaging this song is played during the first dance of the wedding night...awww


3. Signed, Seal, Delivered I'm Yours by Stevie Wonder




Who could resist the soul rhythm that could get you up on the feet? In this case, rather than those mellow songs, why not enliven your wedding with this upbeat song. The lyric is catchy too - imagining your man singing 'Here I am baby. Signed, seal, delivered I'm yours'...awww


4. Forever by Mariah Carey




How could you have a wedding without the blessing of the DIVA?! Listening to her songs ever since I was small, so the most important night of my life will not be complete without her legendary voice to serenade the night. This song literally takes my breath away. The way she goes from whisper  to belt  to head note and back again is just breathtaking! Gosh, i need an oxygen tank now!

5. Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra



I love this song very much. Aside from his irreplaceable voice, the opening line just pinpoints the feelings of falling in love with great metaphor; Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars... Seriously, from my experience, you will go floating above the ground and you could go to the space - the feeling is just overwhelming. Geez, how i miss those feeling.

6. Make Me Feel My Love by Kelly Clarkson





I know this song is made popular by Adele (though originated from Bob Dylan) but for me, Kelly Clarkson has the best cover. Adele is bit emo for, you don't want to have your wedding to be an emo setting right? It's a poignant song that covers many depths of emotion. It resonates the feelings inside for the person you really love. I could make oyu happy, make your dreams come true. There's nothing that I wouldn't do . I'd go to the ends of this Earth for you. To make you feel my love - Melted!

7. Beauty and The Beast by Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson




Don't laugh! Is it wrong to have my childhood favourite at my own wedding? Among Disney classics, Beauty and The Beast has to be my favourite. It is wonderful that this wonderful movie has a wonderful song. I don't know how you interpret the lyric but the way I look at it, Mrs Potts is describing the love which has developed between Beast and Belle as both of them dancing at the hall with such strong passion for each other. If you have no idea what the song is all about - let me decipher few lines for you.

Barely even friends then somebody bends unexpectedly - started as acquaintance but as time goes, they fall in love, unexpectedly.

Both a little scared, neither one prepared, beauty and the beast - Both beast and Belle were not ready nor prepared for a relationship but they did give a try

Certain as the sun, rising in the east - Their love is strong and defies time as certain as the sun rise in the east


8. Love Someone by Jason Mraz





When you love someone, it comes back to you if it doesn't that's not love. I feel the words and music match it together so well. The harmonising vocal is so beautiful that they are amazing together and you feel the message coz you've felt it and couldn't put all the right words together on your own.


9.  If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys




Beautiful lyric sung by beautiful voice by a beautiful lady. This song is simply beautiful. The song resonates the love that transcends fortune, materials, fame and youth. Just love it.

10. Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine




For the record, this song is never about love. It doesn't have any hidden romantic meaning at all.

It's all metaphorical. The flightless bird is referring to a woman who she loves this very man. The man had his own dream to take flight and pursue his own dream. Unfortunately, this woman is left grounded with her dreams unfulfilled as a pill-swallowing housewife.  'A Fat House Cat' could be a reference to her husband that becoming a stereotypical couch potato who has just become lazy and careless.

But who cares ! Edward and Bella had make a huge difference for this song at thier wedding! Then the whole world gone mad over this song as it is made to believe that it was a romantic song. I love this song too. Inspired by this song. I once posted a FB shoutout stated  'Whenever I'm with you, this flightless bird has found its nest". And the person that I like acknowledged this message by click 'like'...awwww.

That's all folks. I hope my songs above could really make a whole lot of difference for your wedding. Wedding only comes once in a lifetime, don't spoilt it. Appreciate it and make it great because some of us may don't have the chance. I know I don't have the chance for sure. The law doesn't permit to do so. Even the law permits, I don't have anyone to walk the aisle with me. Oh well, life goes on.

Since it's all about wedding, let me end this entry with Jay Chou wedding. Jay Chou being Jay Chou, everything looks so perfect, even his self-composed song is so beautiful!!

When Somebody Loved You

How many of you will open the nofitication in Facebook which alerts you on the memories you had with who and who today.

It's a mixed feeling to open the notification. It's rather guilty to look at yourself back then when you were used to be skinny. Look at you now, you have grown horizontally.

Notifications are not meant to be opened since it would flashback those memories that you had with someone you loved before.

I know life is about moving forward but some fragments of the past could be nostalgic sometimes. It really warmed my heart for a mere second when I opened an notification few days ago. It was those silly memories that I used to have with someone who treated me so dearly. But oh well, maybe I'm not meant for him, so we didn't get together eventually. 

Now he's attached with someone else...just hate that bitch who stole my ex-baby away. Just joking - to be honest, I'm very happy for them whenever I see their lovey dovey Facebook postings. At least he is happy.

Whereas for me, I'm also attached. Yay?

There are so many postings in Facebook from my friends/acquitances who are always lamenting that they are still single and lonely.

Please don't be. Having a relationship is not fireworks and celebration everyday. You still need to work and still need to face the ugly part of reality. Romance never long lives. Quarrels are inevitable. Having a relationship is not the absolute cure for loneliness. 

My dear lads, please don't rush for relationship. Feelings and excitement may blind you sometimes in searching for ' the one'. Let me share you one tip, the moment when you realize and assure that you could give part of your life to that very someone and that very someone could take the lead when you are not able to, let me tell you one thing, that very someone is most likely could 'the one' for you.

Don't  know why I'm being emo writing this entry. Let's end the night with an emo song by Jay Chou...

Teresa Teng: Still Loved, Still Resonate

It was that cloudy morning that I will never forget.

On that very morning, my mom just came back home from sundry shop which was located behind my home. Once she stepped into the living hall, she was looking at the front page for quite a while. She sat down and said with her shocking but yet composed tone "she's dead...Teresa Teng is dead"

Twenty years ago yesterday,  Chinese community around the world was shocked in disbelief to learn that the legendary Teresa Teng has left us at such young age. Though I was quite small back then but I knew who she was.

Ever since I was small, I mean very very small, my mom would always hum "Tian Mi Mi" by Teresa Teng. She also shared the never ending stories of Teresa Teng. She told me that Teresa Teng was that famous that no matter which corner of the earth you might be, as long there was a Chinese community, you would hear the beautiful songs by Teresa.

Twenty years has passed, her fame still lives on. Her beautiful and pleasant face is still fondly remembered by millions in Asia and around the world. Even my non-Chinese friends know who she was. I believe every Chinese on this Earth is able to sing her "The Moon Represents My Heart".

I am proud to admit that I'm big fan of her. You may say I'm outdated or an uncle  for listening to her songs but until now, I could not find any Chinese singer who has the voice which similar to Teresa ( the closest will be Faye Wong). Really, I'm hypnotised by her voice. Let me describe her voice this way; her voice is like a gentle stream flowing through the meadow. Her voice is like weeping but with strength. Her voice is so flawlessly clear and so soft and so whispery. 

Old uncle for listening her songs? I'm not the only one. Many modern idols were inspired by her. Faye Wong, Jay Chou, David Tao, Karen Mok, Sammi Cheng and among many others. 

Faye Wong commemorated Teresa Teng death anniversary in 2013 in Weibo with this line "Thank you for having there. May your beauty live on".

Remember how Jay Chou revived Teresa in his concert using technology display? He expressed his wish in the concert "I once imagined that if I could turn back time to 30 years ago to sing a song with her, it will be a great honour".

Though her passing was way too soon but Teresa left a legacy which is irreplaceable. Twenty years and even a century more, Teresa Teng's songs will continue to echo. 

Since this entry is all about her, let me share some of my personal favourites:

My Kinda Wedding

Peer pressure hits again.

A close friend of mine told me that she would be getting married this fall and I'm gonna be her 'bridesmaid'. I thought she was joking all the time but never thought she was serious about it. In fact, another close friend of mine also will be getting get married this summer. And I'm suspecting the red invitations are more to come especially from high school friends.

Well, alright they are settling down and leave me alone and lonely. If the law permits, you think I don't want to get married? Okay, assuming that gay marriage is allowed here, I don't want my wedding to be typical Chinese wedding with all those ýum sing' toast and chaperon taking the spotlight all the time. Don't judge me - I'm proud to be Chinese but not for wedding.


What about walking the aisle at cathedral like Jay Chou did?





It is every one's fairy tale to walk down the aisle at a cathedral with Prince Charming. It is really romantic but not for me since it's rather too holy.

Personally for me, I would prefer something simple but pleasant, not too pompous but serene, not too grand but something natural - just like below:






Oh my god, Edward looks so pale. Someone call the doctor. Oh wait, he's a vampire. I know I'm sucker for Twilight Saga but Edward and Bella wedding is what I really want. Okay, since there are no vampires on this very Earth, just forget it.

What I really want for my wedding is:

To take wedding photos here:

And here:

To hold my reception here (in Malaysia)

With lots of flowers - only this kind:

With the sky in orange:

Though it looks simple but i know it will never happen since forbidden by the law and society which I'm living in. Rainbow perfectly epitomizes gay people, it looks colourful but it's just an illusion. Gay folks are always trying to reach the rainbow but they will never achieve it.

2013: the story so far

Half year has passed and what you've done so far? Did you make it up for your resolutions or are you still struggling to achieve the bloody resolutions which you have set for yourself at the start of 2013.

I don't know about you but for me, the first half was pretty alright. I didn't achieve any resolution just yet but i did make my dream come true. I know you will laugh at me for saying this but i finally made a trip to Disneyland. It was simply a magical trip in Hong Kong.

Since it's already July, let see the progress of my resolution for 2013.

Change Job 

It was either i didn't possess the good vibes of first impression or the expected salary i requested was far beyond they could afford. For the first half of 2013, i've been through many interviews and i was delighted that big brands approached me but ended up nothing in the end. I'm still with the same old company. Not complaining coz i do enjoy what i'm doing and this December, my experience in this stressful PR industry will be exactly four years. I think i can attempt managerial level from now. I could not imagine the fate of the people under me.

Anyway, to be honest, i don't earn big bucks. So among my peers, some earn lesser than me and some earn more than me. Well, i don't really like to share how much my salary is coz it's rather private for me but i don't know why some people is dying to know my figure. And that very some people apparently earn more than me. Seriously, if you earn more than me why bother to ask me? Implicit move to belittle me and look down on me?

He even dare to ask me this question "Do you feel jealous that i earn more than you?" . Well, i don't. You earn more, I'm happy for you. I lead a decent life and not those lavish lifestyle and i'm very contented of what i have now.

To be honest, yes, some companies has rejected me but hey, i did decline some offers from some big companies as well, i'm just waiting for the right time and the right job okay. It's like the green light at the end of Daisy's dock in Great Gatsby. So close but it's still out of reach. But once i have reached the light, i don't really mind to share my new salary with that person.

New Car

I'm not really rushing for one though but recently, i did some test drive on several brands - Rio, Fiesta and Prius C. Well, i'm not sure when i have a new mobil but i'm looking forward for the last quarter of 2013. Why? Because the car that i want requires 3 months of waiting period and the more i prolong, the more i can pay for my down payment. Once i have it, definitely it will boost my ego, come on, let me show off a bit coz i've been humble for so long. Or else that very someone will look down on me again with my old car. Yeah, i have this silent war in outdoing each other but i take it healthily. 

Travel

My Hong Kong trip was with my friend so i do look forward to have another overseas trip with my mom this time. I think more than 10 years i never travel overseas with her. Let's see any good deals in MATTA Fair. I'm looking for either Beijing or Shanghai, maybe you can suggest me the best place to travel with family - please bear in my mind that i'm the one who will pay for my mother, so please give me some ideas that will not be painful for my wallet.

Relationship 

Not in my list for 2013 but if it comes, i will be more than happy. July is the month of love for me and i believe opportunities arise in this very month. But i doubt so coz the quality of gay men/boys are going down. Don't believe me? just scroll down your Facebook, you will see the gay people are too poor to buy a shirt or too proud with their armpit hairs. [Not you, JL] Don't forget the bimbos too! 

So yeah, gay circle is getting too mundane like everyone is like the same for me now. But don't bother me much coz i'm not looking for one for now but if it the prince comes, i definitely will leave my stilettos for him to pick up.

So it's July, I wish you a great second half of 2013 ahead. Just kick some asses and fulfill your resolutions for this year. Like what Jay Chou sings "Let's ride the sunshine, dash against the tide on the sea, attract her sight and don't be afraid to show your chest and perspire some sweat!"

Sexiest Boys Alive in 2012

2012 is just mere two days left, so who is the hunk or cutie that really caught your attention this year?

Well, Channing Tantum might walk away with People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive in 2012 (which i think his body is kinda outta shape compared to last time) but who is your pick for the sexiest man/boy/hunk/twink alive in 2012? Who is the gorgeous specimen that turns you on this year? I have my personal pick though some of them unexpectedly make it to my list this year. I hope the galore of hot pictures will not make you go hysteria.

Let's bring the boys out!

Justin Bieber -  i have something to confess, i think i'm a Belieber now. Justin has grown up so much. Alright, he used to annoy me with his chicky voice when he sang Baby Baby but it is such a huge transformation for him this year. With his album  entitled Believe, Justin is set to make us believe that he is so much matured now - and all of his singles from Believe album has got me so addicted. I know Justin Bieber doesn't have a hot body but he is really cute with combination of boyish and feminine features. Thank god, he has ditched Selena Gomez, or else, they would look like lesbo couples. (Justin Bieber shirtless pix credit: maurizio887 from fanpop.com)

Colton Dixon - Though he didn't win the American Idol (landed on seventh place) this year but he already won my heart, i guess his musical talent also blew us away. If you're a big fan of American Idol, you would know that he managed to grab the golden ticket during audition round but failed to enter Top 24 in tenth season. Supposed to accompany his sister  for audition this season but after much persuasion from the judges, he went in to try his luck and eureka! Or else, we would have missed another cutie in television. (pic credit: Hollywoodreporter.com)

Marcel Nguyen - Olympic 2012 in London has indeed become a talking point for the gays/girls. I'm not talking about the sportsmanship, i'm referring to the hotties throughout the games. Really, it's like a galore of hot men during the Olympic. I guess the official logo for London 2012 is implicitly denoting well, blowing. Anyway, no doubt, Marcel Nguyen gotta be the cutest one! Maybe i have high inclination towards Pan Asian (Marcel was born German-Vietname parentage) but just look at him, don't tell me he doesn't make you melt.  Flexing his arms to make the body maneuver - i bet it made the ratings soar so high. Hope we will see him in Rio De Janeiro 2016. 

Tom Daley - Olympic hunks galore continues with Tom Daley, the English diver. He looks like the boy from next door who lend me some sugar lolz...so adorable! Who can ever forget the sexy scenes where he showered after his jump. (Pic credit: swimming.org)

One Direction - aside from being Belieber this year, i also become a One Directioner. Their hit single 'What Makes You Beautiful" has been keeping me whistling throughout the year. Indeed, One Direction has made a big influence on the pop culture this year - often dubbed the British Invasion in US and the comeback of boybands phenomena. 2012 gotta be the year of One Direction with record selling up to 15 million worldwide and they even performed in Olympic Closing Ceremony. So who is your favourite among them? Since i'm such a sucker for Pan Asian, my choice gonna be Zayn (British + Pakistani parentage) (Pic credit: 1mobile.com)

Adam Levigne - Maybe i started to watch The Voice this year so i'm really captivated by this frontman from Maroon 5. Apart from his musical talent, i really do like his wittiness during the show especially during the blind audition round which he was fighting with other judges, it was so hilarious. I guess no one could ever resist his charm when he is begging you to join his team. (Pic credit: accesshollywood.com)

Josh & Edison - The names might sound unfamiliar to you but they are one of the sweetest gay couples that i come across.Their pre-wedding photos has made every gay people so envy. They also prove to us and prove to the anti-gay marriage folks out there that love, sweetness and commitment still exist in gay circle. I guess the girls (or even some straight men) are dying in jealousy that gay love could be so adorable!

Jay Chou - Finally, this shy bug has lifted his shirt off this year. This Taiwanese international superstar used to be a timid and shy little guy but as he grew confidence within himself, he believes confidence also applies on his body as well. Secretly, he has been pumping up his body so hard and check out his chest and his  six hard abs!!

Aarif Lee - The name may sound rather perculiar to you ( he was born Malay-Arab-Chinese parentage) but Aarif is set to be a well-known name in Chinese entertainment industry. He can act, he can sing and most of all, he has the jaw-dropping good look! He shares the resemblance of Wang Lee Hom, don't you think? I bet this Best New Performer winner for Hong Kong Film Awards has a very bright future ahead. (Pic credit: Sina)

Eddie Peng - Little did you know that he was born in Taiwan and migrated to Canada when he was 13. Then, he flew back to Taiwan for his grandmother's death. The sorrow return to Taiwan has changed his life forever as he was discovered for TV series. With his good look and great height, he became much sought-after model and actor. I didn't really pay attention to him at his initial career as he was very boyish and acting skills suck big time. As the time goes, he grew up so much and look at him now!! I managed to watch Taiwanese movie 'Love' this year which starring him along side with Shu Qi, Ethan Ruan among others - and he has improved a lot and geez, he is a man now!Hmmmp...he has a little resemblance of my ex...(Pic credit: mingxing.com)

There you have it. My list of hot men that gonna be mine next year. How i wish!

Jay Chou is blonde

This is it! Jay Chou's new album, 12th album is scheduled to be released on December 28 , 2012 (if end of the world never happens).

Well, no one can deny that he is a real Asian prodigy in music with the unparalleled talents, be it in music, magic, movie and directing. However, his 12th album is set to be something new, different and fresh per say.

Why i say so?

I came across his album teaser in his official Facebook and gosh, Jay Chou turns blond. Though i'm a big fan of him but i'm not hypocrite - it sucks. I know blondie is a in thing in K-Pop culture , you can call me conservative but Asian should not dye the hair blond as it doesn't match the tone of the skin. It's like Nicki Minaj with her natural colour hair (God knows what colour). Or Malaysian colloquial term "lala".

Ignore the top, but if you look far below on his teaser photo, phew!! check out his body!! From a shy and timid prodigy, suddenly, Jay Chou take off his shirt off and goes shirtless!! 6 pairs of abs and lil hairy chest. Tell me now, are you drooling?

Pix courtesy from Jay Chou Official Facebook

Related post: Jay Chou is hot

Love is like a gust of wind

I have to confess that I’m a heavy user of Jack D and BoyAhoy. So what am I doing there? Chances are im hunting for a nice decent meal to feed my appetite or to get more bitches in my circle or just to hook up with someone. I doubt that I could ever hook up with someone from there as some of people there are rather superficial (I said some).

Seriously, I have too little time to reply all the messages there, not to promote myself as super gorgeous that people text me all the time but somehow I find it rude to leave their inquiries unanswered. Unlike those superficially good looking guys who ignore your message. Maybe I’m too flirtatious so need to continue the game lol..

Anyway, one common question they would ask me there is my relationship status, I told them that I’m single still and why single. If I’m attached, what on earth am I doing there in those gay apps?

I know the earlier Alvin is like a poor whore who was dying to be attached for the sake to be attached.

But I believe that Alvin has changed. That Alvin now is self-sufficient, he is playful and he knows what he wants in a relationship.

Honestly, I was devastated for all those failed relationships.  I’m so afraid and so phobia to have a new relationship. I always have this perception that every good start relationship will end in disaster.

 I don’t have that pretty face and I’m not loaded – that’s why I always afraid someone who is prettier than me and more loaded than me will steal my another half away. 

Moreover, I’m a drop dead diva, surely people will not tolerate me and leave.

Pathetic thoughts would not lead me to a happily ever after relationship. Really, I always have this policy “enjoy it while it last” as I know someday they will leave me when the feeling is gone and the moment has faded. I’m really afraid of failed relationships. I’m sick of rejections. I’m tired of empty promises.

I know it sounds dismal. Sorry. I guess I should perceive life in more positive light. Love is like a tornado. You can’t stop it when it comes. You find calm and serenity in the eye of the storm.  Eventually, you face the devastation and the mess when it leaves. Just embrace what God has plans for you alright?

I’m not sure I will find anyone in near future if it does, that person gonna convince me to adolescently believe in love again.  

I know at this juncture, after reading this entry, there is someone in your mind right? To be honest, there’s only one person in my mind when I wrote the entire entries in this blog.

P/S: B is not an exclusive letter. 

It's over, break up!

Break up is inevitable in every relationship. It’s really up to your philosophy and mental strength to deal with break up. Either you emo and be a crying loser or move on with your life and be a fierce bitch.

I have no idea why lately is like ditch-your-lover season. Load of my friends have called off their relationships.. I know the journey is ain’t easy in the end of relationship, I had been through several failed relationships as well. But let me tell you this, end of the day, everything will be alright.

It’s really fascinating to they share their ditching stories with me. Everyone has their exciting story to tell. Thanks to them, now I can even categorize the break up into several types.

Revengeful break up

Call up his ex(s) and torch his home! Well, I’m not simply saying; recently there was a man torched his ex girlfriend in US. Please don’t go to that extend, no point to cause physical harm to your ex as threatening does not work. I know the feeling of being cheated and disappointed is very hard to bear, you just can’t cope with the pain so you would rather to cause physical pain to your ex so you can shift the pain to his physical body so he would feel the same pain that you feel. That’s the stupidest thing to do. Honestly.

 I tell you what, the sweetest revenge is not causing physical harm, instead, do some revenge that cause mental distress.  Flirting with his/her current lover works all the time. Better still, steal his/her current lover!Or if you ever have a chance to bump into him/her with current lover, just tell the current lover “so how do I taste?”

Self destruct break up

Instead causing physical pain, some people would harm themselves like cutting themselves or even commit suicide as there is no way to deal the pain. Come on, there are so many fishes in the sea! I always believe every break up is a lesson and an experience for you to find a better one next. God is giving you the chance to experience what is jerk and what is true love, so appreciate that experience. 

Break up-patch up-break up

This is most confusing break up. I think you have heard or even experienced yourself this kind of break up. Initiated break up but found out that the decision was hastily made and unwise so patch up but somehow, things wont work, break up again. It’s tiring and time wasting. Once it’s over, it’s over unless you guys are really meant for each other, he or she will naturally one day will return to be yours again.

Unconscious break up

Some people are plain naïve that once the another end has called it off, they still do not want to accept the hurtful fact that they are no longer an item. They would lie to themselves by texting him/her, trying hard to date him/her, ask for movies as if the relationship is still on. Another lie is another damage to your self dignity and pride. That guy doesn’t love you anymore. Wake up and move on. Seriously, no one will bother to look up to you once you lost your pride. Not even think he or she will return to you.

Emo break up

Or should I label it as Adele-rated-break up. I think most of the people would go through this kinda break up. I know being emo is an uncomfortable period but somehow it gives you space and time to cry your heart out to clear all those pain after break up. It gives you a chance to reflect yourself. But emo with limitations or else the emotional will consume you until you fall in to the state of depression.  It’s alright to be a crying baby because pain is vented out by tears. For my case, I could hardly cry, that’s why they call me as emo queen coz I emo all the time for not venting my pain out.

All Hell Breaks Loose Break Up

Okay, your previous boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t give you the pleasure to fulfillment of your lust. So what to do after break up? Go out and be a slut and have sex until the world ends. It works though. Perhaps after so many years in the entrapment of unsatisfactory sex, it is time to strip naked and roll it on the bed to repay all those kill-joy sex period. RIDE ME LIKE A HORSE!!!

Peaceful Break Up

Once the relationship is ended, same it goes to the friendship as the friendship may cause uncomfortable feeling or even cause the hope to reconcile. Some may refrain to continue the relationship so the hurt and the pain wouldn’t be deepen. However, some people take break up as something diplomatic by maintaining the friendship. Nice right? After all the rise and fall, one thing left is friendship.

Self-enlightenment break up

Some may take break up as a lesson to reflect what is best for them and what is not in a relationship. In other words, how to avoid to fall in love with a jerk. Really, some people take break up as a wake up call to stop themselves for being a fool to be hurt even more. They really take a whole lot of courage to end the relationship to move on and to find and to embrace what suits them best.

For me, You know this ain't the first time. This has happened to me, this love sick thing. I like serious relationships and a boy like me don't stay single for long cause every time a boyfriend and I break up
My world is crushed and I'm all alone but the love bug crawls right back up and bites me and I'm back.

I wish I have the thinking above but currently, let’s be honest, the song below summarizes all. 

Back to the past

As we move forward with our lives, do you have a slightest moment to pause and recall the past?

 I do, in fact, not a single minute passes without thinking about my past.

The past is always beautiful, doesn’t it?

I’m not referring my ancient past or my childhood past but just that my recent past.  I’m not bitching on my ex partner but after broke up, yes, I did emo for awhile but thereafter, I never felt so happy. Not because I was set free from the entrapment, well part of it, somehow, there was someone, someone I knew long time and someone I never knew that we could be so close.

And good lord, we were so bitchy together. Amidst the bitchiness and the void of being dumped, my smiles and laughter had returned. Meeting up dinner for almost every evening, texting each other like almost every minute, hijacking my phone, lashing out each other in Facebook – I never knew these little things could make me so contented.

I know things have changed. I’m no longer the same as before and neither are you. The days can only move forwards but I will never forget the days we spent together as all those memories meant so much to me. If I ever had a chance, I really would like to go to the past for which I know that i will never ever have that one fine day to have that special recognition.

P/S: I’m not emo

Cautious when love comes too close

Anyone of you have this so called relationship that you guys are really close (up to hold hands and well, need I say more?) until you believe that you and him will be together eventually but things couldn’t work out in the end? 

To say the least you, making a fool of yourself. 

Trust me, I was that fool for so many times, so need not to be shy to admit yourself that you are one of them.

You see, we were born with the natural talent to deceive ourselves. Really, when someone is so your type pops up in your life, definitely, you will fall head over heals with that very special someone. Every moment you spent together with him is like a fairy tale. Even slightest action of his will easily melt your heart. As your heart is melting so as your rationality. Your really don’t care that if that person is just mere flirting with you or he is serious to develop the relationship even further. Come on, you had the time of your life hanging out with him and you enjoy every bits of seconds of it, you don’t really bother whether he would give you a recognition or acknowledgment being a lover for what is matter the most at the moment is just have some fun.

Okay, I know it’s like a paradise that someone you are interested in is closer and closer to you. You believe that  you have found that someone. Even I have those moments. Honestly, I really do enjoy those moments with many people but my happiness is overshadowed by fear. As I’m afraid that sooner or later, I will lose him and lose all the moments with him. Like I say, enjoy while it last.

I guess it will be a dream comes true when that person takes you as his or her lover. What if not?

It can be painful or else you are very strong person and move on with your life. For my case, I rather feel angry. Angry until the fire in my heart reaches fever pitch.

You will be lost in the middle of nowhere when you lose that someone. You hate to learn that things have changed and aint the same like before. You keep checking your phone whenever your phone seems so quiet. You keep checking his last seen in Whats App. You try to make yourself available as you thought he would date you.  You try to lock up your heart and don’t let any others to get near you as you foolishly reserve that very spot in your heart just for him. You would take out your phone and flip the photos over and over again that you taken together and recall those moments together.

Ghost of worries will haunt you since you are so afraid he has someone else.

Sad right? 

You don’t hold any reservation or any hesitation when you are treating for those who you fell into. You don’t even ask anything in return as you believe it is all worth it. You believe that someday he will realize that there is a person who treats him so good, perhaps have a little try for a relationship. 

Wake up. The only return you have is a “jackass” label on your forehead.

P/S: You probably think this entry is all about you right? 

The meaning of my life is she

It’s really ludicrous that my FB timeline is bombarded with Mother’s Day wishes and messages like I Love You, mom! Mother, you are the queen of my heart and etc – but the postings really make me wonder; how many mothers have a Facebook account to read those postings?

Anyway, one simple question for you in conjunction with Mother’s Day – How does your mother inspire you throughout your life?

For me, it’s a lot. But I wanna share with you the most recent and defining one.

I know when I broke up with my ex, the first person in my mind was my mother. Well, what she has been gone through was insurmountable and what she has been gone through has made her as a true superwoman. She simply augurs the saying: “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice”

Initially, it was end of the world for me when the person I loved so much initiated his determined decision to just ditch me. The pain thereafter was more than I could bear. There was neither anticipation nor even hope for my path ahead. Amidst the hopelessness, I failed to realize there was one person around me that I should look up to.  

It was my mother. Aside from showering me with her dedicated and devoted love, she also shows me how to be tough.  I don't think any woman or even me could persevere like she does.

Through her inspiration, I realized that breaking up was just a small matter. She really teaches me how to be positive and optimistic to walk on the long and winding road that never guarantees lifetime happiness. Though she doesn’t have a Mona Lisa’s smile but her smile embodies strength, that strength which I would take a long time to exemplify. If I ever put her smile on my face, I think I wouldn’t be this weak right now.

Even it takes a lifetime, I know it couldn’t repay the amount of her sacrifices and her love to raise me through the rough and ready years. Her laughter and her tears are all my souvenirs that always keep in my heart.

Thank you. Happy Mother’s Day!

Jay Chou Champions Cybersecurity With Kaspersky Lab

I guess everyone who gets into my car will get sick. Not because my driving skills suck but I always bombard them with Jay Chou songs all the time.

Well, I’m a big fan of Jay Chou. Seriously, this lad is an all round creative genius – in music and in movie, it would be no reason not to like this Taiwanese megastar.

And recently, Jay Chou has been appointed as the latest brand ambassador for Kaspersky Lab (Asia Pacific).

The Taiwanese musician, singer-songwriter, music and film producer, actor and director, is a one-man entertainment juggernaut who effortlessly combines Chinese and Western music styles in an eclectic mix of R&B, rock, pop and ethnic music, with a personality that wins fans and friends globally.

Jay Chou's unique creativity, innovation and excellence across so many aspects of the entertainment industry echoes the independent, innovative spirit and all-round excellence that powers every Kaspersky Lab security and threat management product and service. 

Kaspersky Lab's award-winning products, services and technologies have exceptionally high and accurate malware detection rates meeting Jay Chou's needs as an individual user and as a corporate network owner with important personal and corporate information to keep safe.

"I trust Kaspersky Lab fully as updates are speedy and constant. There is no downtime, no security breaches and malware gets dealt with quickly and efficiently. I have the peace of mind of the best protection. Kaspersky is my only choice for IT security protection'' Jay Chou explained.

Kaspersky Lab will be working with Jay Chou to launch new releases of products for home users and corporate users soon – hope he will make Malaysia as one of his destinations in promotingKaspersky Lab. Fingers crossed!!