Written in the scars

Another ex-schoolmate of mine just got married over the weekend.

I don't know about you but everytime i know that my ex-schoolmates got married, i would ask myself when is my turn and i don't even have a lover in my life for Pete's sake.

Though getting a lover or partner is not my priority in 2013 but if the cupid hits me, why not right?

I have no idea why is so hard for me to get anyone in my life. Maybe i'm too choosy and set my standard so high that hardly anyone could fit in. Or maybe i still and still couldn't let go of someone. Or maybe i don't have drop dead gorgeous face and sizzling hot body so no one ever notices me.

Though i'm alright to lead a single life but whenever i see those lovey dovey postings in Facebook, it really makes me envy sometimes. Especially those postings by your ex lovers or someone that you liked before who are now with someone else. You wish the person next to him in the posted picture is you sometimes. You wish those sweet postings are referring to you. You wish he will show up whenever you need him.

You wish so much and it won't happen. There was a person in my life that i could rely to and shared my mundane life with but that person will never ever come back to me again.

I used to believe that love and relationship is simple and many splendid things. So i opened up my heart and let those thieves stole my heart. Once stolen, it would break eventually. But i took the effort to mend it but inevitably, i would be the victim for those thieves again.

Those scars on my heart forbid me to love again unless that very person can give one good reason to me or i could give one good reason to myself that i should love again.