I still could recall that when i was small i would be the happiest kid on earth for tonight. Mid Autumn/Mooncake Festival was the only time of the year that i could play with fire, candles and lanterns. I still could recall that I had a bee figure lantern and of course those traditional paper lanterns. I would lit up the entire porch with candles for several nights approaching Mid Autumn Festival.
But as we grew up, the significant and the joy of Mid Autumn Festival was slowly fading away. I think most of us just have a special and simpledinner and have mooncake just to mark the occasion. That's it. It's not fun anymore.
It sucks to be adult right? Things are so complicated and so difficult when you're gradually aging. There is no more simplicity anymore and we tend to see things in a spectacle which has deviated our sight to see things in a more complicated manner. Simplicity doesn't exist anymore when we grow.
How ironic right, when we were kids, we couldn't wait to be adults and do the things the adults do. But adulthood is not fun as what we envisaged. It is filled with stress, worries and uncertainties.
Back to our childhood, we were carefree, happy and we dreamed big. Even a paperplane could fly you around the world. Even a toy gun could kill all the bad guys. And you could even build a imaginative living city with Lego blocks. Our dreams and imaginations were limitless.
But back to adulthood, we do not dare to dream big because we know our limits and we are so afraid to lose. And the world is not that innocent anymore, it's real and it's live or die.
Since tonight is Mid Autumn Festival, i should take a step back from this real world. Let me end my entry tonight with my late grandfather's favourite poem, my mom's favourite song and of course, my everlasting legend singing this beautiful song with her beautiful voice to serenade the beautiful moon-lit night:
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Thursday, September 4, 2014
So last long weekend was a rather heartwarming weekend actually. Heartwarming because my brother brought his girlfriend back to Ipoh - not only meeting my parents but my grandparents as well. At least this time looks promising and hopefully there will be a joyful culmination in the end. My grandparents are very old, time is always a challenge for both them to see their eldest grandson to walk down the aisle.
Walking down the aisle, it is just a few steps of walk but it takes a great courage and lifetime to make that few steps. Maybe i'm too naive but i always have this perception that the man has to be very successful as in financial stable and has a advanced career to marry a girl. A man shouldn't let his wife to endure frugal kinda life.
So it literally hits me when my friends are married and some of them even have kids. Look at me, i don't have an admirable career (unlike my ex-classmates who are now doctors, dentists and i even stuck in this job) and I'm not that happy-go-lucky I used to be anymore.Well, i tried to clap my hands like a room without a roof but it always led me back to this long and winding road.
Ain't know why my childhood brings so many happy memories. The ice cream truck, playing firecrackers, playing swing-swing at playground, Christmas, cycled around my neighbourhood, petting the cats, watching Cartoon Network,playing Nintendo with my brother, even strolling at the park could make me so happy back then. Simple things could bring so many fond memories. Does growing up mean giving up everything that makes you happy?
I'm a grown up man now but only few happy memories I could recall like meeting Mickey Mouse for the first time, setting up Christmas tree in my room, romantic getaways....i better stop here or else i'll be interrogated by someone.
But really, sometimes i wish i could give up everything and leave the world behind. Maybe when it hits 100 then it will be it....