Saturday, February 27, 2016

Pulau Ketam: Where Rainbow Paints The Crabs

If you are heading to Pulau Ketam, please don't ever look down. I'm not referring to look down on people there but don't ever look down beneath their houses. It's very dirty.

Since their houses are wooden houses on stilt so there is not proper sewage system there. Yup, all the waste will just go down underneath the house. The land underneath their houses is even being utilised as landfill.

Nevertheless, if you are able to ignore above shortcomings, Pulau Ketam is an ideal place for short getaway from the bustling city. Simplicity is what this fishing town has to offer. I've been living in city for all my life so it's really nice experience to back to basic sometimes. Let the pictures below narrate my travelogue in Pulau Ketam.

It's pretty easy to navigate to Pulau Ketam. Just take Kesas highway and follow the signage that leads to Pulau Indah. Alternatively, you may Waze your way to Terminal Penumpang South Port. Once you reach the port, you will be greeted by the giant golden crab. Alternatively, if you are plain lazy to drive, just take KTM to Pelabuhan Klang station. The station is just walking distance to the port.

You are require to take a ferry ride to Pulau Ketam which takes around 40 minutes. Be mindful not to lose yourself in Pulau Ketam as the last ferry ride back to land is 6.30 pm. You can check the schedule by simply clicking here. The fares wise, RM 7 per single way for adults. Alternatively, you can take speed boat which is only 20 minutes journey @ RM 10 per single way.

The picture above is the picturesque landscape once you have reached Pulau Ketam and I didn't filter this picture. As you can see, the shore is filled with mud. If you look closer, the whole land of mud is filled with crabs.

Look at the crabs. By the way, I hate to be a killjoy here. It may look cute but people's urine and faeces go into the mud also since there's no proper sewage system there. So yeah, the crabs feed on urine and shit!

Feed on human faeces and urine with so much nutritions, no wonder crabs in Pulau Ketam are so big

Tadaa! We are eating faeces that built the fleshes of these crabs. Trust me, it was very very juicy and fleshy. We had this at Restoran Lok Hian. Three pieces of crab only cost us RM 50!! 

The crabs are so revered in Pulau Ketam, the villagers there even idolize it at top of the temple!

There are not much you can do in Pulau Ketam except enjoy the tranquility and simplicity of this little fishing village. You may walk or rent a bicycle to visit the entire village.  No, there's no car and this what makes this village so peaceful.

Awww...look at these two love birds. Aside from umbrellla, please bring a long suncreen when you visit this village. Unlike me, I went there without any filter, I literally got sunburn and the dark patches are still on my body.

You will cross a lot of bridges and every bridge has its photo opportunity. BTW, the picture above is not filtered also.

When you at the edge of the island, you will see plenty of fishing port. Apparently, fishing is so popular there (duh, that is their main source of income) that Huat The Fish movie was filmed there.

The other attraction of Pulau Ketam is the colorful houses. Just look at the picture above, they even painted the house in LGBT colour. The rainbow must have fallen from the sky and splattered its colours in Pulau Ketam.

Yes, it is that dirty.

Seriously, I believe that there's a stiff competition going on in the village. Every house is like compete with each to be the most striking and colourful

Take sometime to enter the sundry shops over there. You could find some of the items that could reminisce your childhood 

Remember these bubble toy?

I'm not sure this kind of plastic ruler is still available in the market. When I was in the primary school, I like to stick the pencil into the opening and spin it.

Not sure the kids nowadays will appreciate boardgames. One of it, I don't know what is the proper name but I call it Aeroplane. To get out from the boxes, you have to get number 6 on the dice..gosh those were days....

That's all for my travelogue. Though it's dirty but Pulau Ketam is a really nice place to visit if you want to have a near and short getaway and quiet meditative experience and of course, nice crabs.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Romance & Fairytale

The flower at my office wasn't for me, so get back to your work now!

Come to think of it, there's no men in the world have ever brought me flowers. Bitches.

Anyway, it's really nice to see someone receive the flowers from their respective partners. The surprise and the smile on the face is just priceless and it is so pure from the heart. Unless, you really hate that person or show no slightest sign of interest, definitely i will see your bitching resting face.

I guess the love charms from Valentine's Day had swept all over my friends. Some received flowers. Some went overseas for romantic getaway. Some had staycations. Some received chocolate. And me? I was eating a bowl of Bak Kut Teh in Ipoh.

Sometimes I do envy my friends coz they are living in fairytales with full of suprises with their partners. Envious person like me, I'm just a spectator who are scrolling down the Facebook to see all the romantic postings.

I wish I could have a romantic partner but I don't have any luck. And i don't even know what romance is. And I want you to show me.

I'm not referring to go somewhere far and see a towering piece of old metal. Seriously, I don't know why so many people are sucker for that piece of metal. Romantic meh?! Yes, "meh" will be the answer if my partner give me a surprise trip.

I would prefer Amsterdam and visit Anne Frank House (nothing to do with some movie). Then, visit Vincent Van Gogh museum while stroll along the canals. It's so perfect. If not Amsterdam, Prague will be good also to turn me into princess and visit all those castles there.

But all honesty, most of the romantic gestures are just marketing gimmick. You see, you need to fork out money to buy romance. Flowers, chocolate, fancy dinner or whatever you name it, you need money to buy. I believe romance is something you can't buy like simple DIY gift or even piggy back. Yes, I like piggy back. Since I'm very heavy, I guess he needs to be strong to carry me. I know I sound very bottom here but don't you think it's sweet someone carry you around and you just lay your face on his back....awwww...

It's already late. It's time to hit the sack. Since so much romance in my entry, let's end the entry with one of my romantic favourites....if you are reading this, hope to hear you soon..

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Something I Like About CNY

It's scary to know that tomorrow will be the last day of Chinese New Year celebration, right?

15 days of celebration comes to an end tomorrow. So how was your celebration this year?

Maybe I'm ageing that's why the celebration has become mundane, more like lack of fun. But at least, I really enjoyed my very long break and I did spend some quality time with my family.

Though it was mundane but there were few things that I really about this festive season this year:

Chinese New Year Movies Marathon:

Without fail, I'll watch almost every CNY movies in the cinema with my parent. It is really heartwarming sight to see when you see the younger generation brings their elders to watch a movie. It really signifies that we have grown up enough to pay for movie tickets and usher our parents to cinema hall. I still remember vividly that I was in my dad's mom to watch Stephen Chow's CNY movies but now I was the one who held her hand to cinema hall.

Talking about CNY movies, which one is your favourite this year?

For me, it's Mermaid. Not because it is Stephen Chow's movie but at least this comedy movie has its storyline and further brings awareness to our environment. Compared to From Vegas To Macau III, my gosh, I didn't know what the heck was going on. No storyline and the jokes were very very lame. And I wasn't entertained by the robots at all.

Don't you think Hong Kong Chinese New Year movies are getting lamer? Even our local Ola Bola could beat them easily. What happen to those golden era of Hong Kong movies in the 90s?

Thank God, TV had made the rerun of the old Hong Kong comedy movies. Thought I watched like 20 times but I still found it very funny. If i watch another 20 times, I will still find it very funny. The jokes and the acting skills of the veteran actors/actresses are simply timeless. Who could ever forget movies below:

It's A Mad Mad World

All's Well, Ends Well Too

All's Well, Ends Well

Journey To The West


I don't know how many animals that I've killed for this festive season. I shouldn't complain much since it was a blessing there were food on the table during Chinese New Year. Let's see what I had for CNY:

Yee Sang! I had it twice this year
My reunion dinner. Kudos to my mom and aunties who worked very hard for this very special meal. My favourite dish on the dining table definantely gonna be Sambal Petai, it was the bomb! Anyhow, it is not how many dishes nor what dishes are served but the people who eat with you at dining table during reunion table that counts 
Look at the Tiger Prawns~!

My family is rather unorthodox since most of the dinner during CNY were western food. So we went to my mom's favourite American Pizza place in Ipoh, MichaelangelO Pizzeria in Ipoh Garden East. It's still the best pizza place I ever been.

Not forgetting CNY tidbits especially nga ku!
Check out the price of Empurau fish! Named as 'Unforgettable' in Chinese, apparently it's the most expensive edible fish in Malaysia
Caramelised Roasted Pork at Vimtry, Damansara. I know it sounds deathly but it is really nice! 
Lychee Cheese Cake - the amount of cheese and lychee are just perfect for taste buds

Since I was in Ipoh, it would be a great waste if I didn't have my hometown local food right like Mixed Fruits Ice in Tong Sui Kai near Sam Tet

And Wern Tou Long - only in Ipoh. It's a shaved ice with lemon with jelly at the bottom. Great way to relinquish your thirst 

Friend Yeung Lui - succulent fried fish paste stuffed in varied manner at Big Tree Root, Pasir Pinji. It's a must have everytime I'm back in Ipoh
Of course, the cafes in Ipoh. I know Ipoh is very famous for its cafes (i think 30 over cafes to try out) but I only been to 10 or so. And the latest one was Petit Mary Patisserie. If you like a princessesy and homey ambience, this is the place for you!

Great ambience at the grea hotel of M Boutique, Station 18. Myth Esspresso Bar is the place to be if you want to have long evening chat with your friends. I think i spent two hours gossiping and bitching there :) 

The good old Ipoh, never loses its charm

Mundane right? Well, the quality time spent with family and friends matter. Furthermore, the celebration for my family this year had been toned down since my grandparents passed away last year.

This pretty sums up my Chinese New Year celebration. See you again in January 28, 2017! Once again, have a blessed Year of Monkey! 

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Out of The Woods

Yes, I'm talking about Taylor Swift.

Monday was worth of celebration for all the swifties out there as she won the coveted Grammy's Album Of The Year for her album 1989. And below is her acceptance speech:

Powerful right?

Somehow her acceptance speech is so motivating. Along the way, there were people who belittled me since I was a rather a quiet person so they would take me for granted and left me defenceless. I might be somewhat naive but once I believed in myself and treated people with all the kindness - these people had spurred me to what I am today. I may have not achieve the fortunes or the numbers but at least I know myself is stronger than before.

Back to Taylor, I guess I no need to mention her achievements and accolades she garnered throughout her career. She is like the most successful singer of our time.

Let's flip the other side of the coin and check out her personal life. Her personal life inspired me somehow.


First, can you recall the list of her ex-boyfriends? - John Mayer, Harry Styles, Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Lautner, Joe Jonas among any others.

Aside from Mayer, all her exes are hotties and cutie pies. I'm not sure she is a terrible lover that's why she changed boyfriend/date as if she changed her clothes. People changing boyfriends/dates are often labeled as whores but not in Taylor Swift case. Everyone still sees her as the girl from next door and even a role model.

So let's apply her changing boyfriend habit into our reality. Can't or can do?

I guess most of us will refrain ourselves from changing our dates and boyfriends since we don't people to see us whores. Come on it's not that way should be.

Just make yourself as attractive like Taylor Swift. I know it sounds superficial but this is our sad reality. People look things at the surface. If you look good, people will take notice of you and even chasing after you.

Once you have the physical asset, you can date any guy that you want just like Taylor. I don't understand people who have the asset tend to play safe and see the flow. Trying to be a good boy?

Being a goodie will not bring you any good as they say, nice guy finish last and you don't have a damn certification for being a good boy. Try out with the potential people in your life. If things could not work out, just move on with your life and get a new one. Play it smart.

Just look at Taylor, in the end look who she able to grab? Calvin Harris and he is the hottest DJ in this planet.

Aside from the hot ex-boyfriends, Taylor has an entourage of hot chicks that accompany her for events. And those hot chicks are her bffs. Selena Gomez, Emma Stone, Lorde (not hot), Ellie Goulding and the list goes on.

Once you have the beautiful physical assets, naturally, you will be surrounded by people who have beautiful assets also.

I want to make disclaimer here, the above statement doesn't reflect me at all since I don't have the assets. Friends wise, I'm surrounded by beautiful people with beautiful heart. Maybe they sympathize me as I'm the ugly one.

Alright, it's rather late here. Before I end my note, get out from the woods and step into the success, the beauty and the fame of Taylor Swift.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Somebody To Love

Oh hi. Hi there.

Undated tonight?

Me too actually. I hope you're not sad over it. It's okay to be single today and every other day throughout the year.

There are many valid reasons that we don't have anyone to celebrate with.

I believe most of us chose to be single as the hearts of ours have wounded before this. Broken hearts can't be healed, it only moves along with time. These broken hearts had made us to be vulnerable and made us to lose all confidence in love.

While others, they may wait for someone. It's good to wait for someone that you really love but we should set an expiry date of this waiting game. Once you know that the waiting is unfruitful or even the person doesn't show any slight of interest on you, you should really let go. Otherwise, this waiting game will drown you. It even shuns away people who may have interest on you. Like the old saying, don't give up the whole forest just because of a single tree.

For some, they may be too shy to confess to someone. They just remain silent. As once they have confessed, it will scare off that very person. Awkwardness ensues that may lead to the end of friendship. You rather to remain silence to keep the friendship. Well, I guess you should tell him. Tell him how much he meant for you. Who knows he has interest on you also. I know it is risky but life is all about betting right? You could lose everything but once he said yes, you could win him over.

I'm sorry if I'm acting like a love guru here which I'm not. I'm just a loser in love. I wish to have somebody to love, I really do but a choosy guy like me, I think will stay single for quite sometimes. I don't need all the riches or the smoking hot body, I just want someone who could be compatible with me, who could take the lead when I'm tired and aimless to do so.

But on the brighter side, the Feng Shui master forecasted that I'll be having cherry blossom luck this year. And I guess it blossoms a bit early.

Before I end my note, Happy Valentine's Day for those who are attached. Please treat your partner well and of course, wear condom. For singles, it's not so bad right? Just go out and be a whore tonight.

For me, I just sit at home and start to pray until the tears run down from my eyes. And I will sing...can anyone find me somebody

Monday, February 8, 2016

Something I Dislike About CNY

It's the most prosperous time of the year.

I know right, it's pretty scary to know how time flies. I still remember vividly that I had the last reunion dinner with my grandparents last year around this time.

In the blink of an eye, they are gone and today we are celebrating a brand lunar New Year.

I like Chinese New Year ever since I was a little kid. When I was a kid, it was the only time of the year that I could play with firecrackers (back then it was still legal) and brand new clothes. Since I was among the youngest in my family, so I got a lot of pampering and of course, the ang pow. Back then, RM 10 was already a huge amount for me.

But now I'm all grown up now. I still like Chinese New Year since I could spend quality time with my family and the long long break that I have.

However, there are several things which are unwelcoming during Chinese New Year.

I'm not referring to the annual question of "When You Gonna Get Married?". I always have the legit answer for that. My brother will always be the scapegoat since he is still a bachelor.

Alternatively, I could go bitchy and answer "you're just dying to attend the first gay wedding in your life right and guess what? You're not invited."

Anyhoo, let's see if you share any similarities of our dislikes for Chinese New Year:

The Boiling Weather

This year, we are promised that we will have a cold CNY since the cold wind will be blown from mainland of China. Northern Peninsular is said to have temperature around 16 degrees. This seems somewhat legit since Hong Kong and Taiwan were experiencing cold weather before this; HK was at four degrees and snow in Taiwan.

But as time passes, the cold wind has yet to arrive. It is still pretty hot out there. Compared to previous years, it is not so bad this year since it has been raining recently. Previous years, it was rather sticky experience to make visits. Imagining you are wearing brand new clothes which absorbency is still low and you sweat profusely under the hot sun.

Your relative will like "lei hui bin dou lei?! Sap tat tat kam meong"

The Long & Winding Road

It's not really winding actually, it's long, very very long straight road. It is reported that over one million vehicles will leave Klang Valley during Chinese New Year. Inevitably, the highways that lead to our respective hometowns will be congested.

I had to spend like three to five hours just to reach Ipoh in which the normal travelling time is just two hours. PLUS highway has extended one more lane in most of the stretches heading North but it didn't make any difference. I guess the best solution is to have contra flow. Seriously, the opposite side is like a ghost road, barely can see any cars passing by. Why not open a lane in the opposite direction to reduce the traffic volume?

Aside from the highway, this slow pace Ipoh city is also experiencing high volume of vehicle during festive season. That's why I reluctant to drive out. You see, Ipoh is infested with many many traffic lights. You have to wait like two or three rounds until you could pass the green light. To make situation worse, Ipoh drivers are relatively slow. Can imagine the frustration?

The Big Green Bug

It's like those horror movie where the home is attacked by flying insects. Yes, you can have this horror movie experience during Chinese New Year with the big green cicada- scary features with its loud noise.

Few days ago, when I was walking glamorously to a restaurant to have my dinner. Suddenly, this big green cicada fell on my shirt. Aside from frightening, it was an embarrassing moment since I shouted "WTF, get it off!".  I hate this bug so much.

Though it looks frightening, but in Feng Shui, cicada is regarded as a good symbol of immortality and protection against backstabbers. Of course it will ward off the backstabbers. Just throw a cicada at them. Definitely, they will run away. Or when you are suspecting that they are backstabbing you, just pinch the cicada body to make the loud hissing sound - "Shut up you bitches!" 

Since you have many cicadas left, throw some at those gay folks who are trying hard to act straight.

"Sei gay lou, sei hoi dit!"  I bet those gay men will freak out with their highest pitch "OHMYGAWD, get it off get it off!" lol.

Unorthodox Not-Visiting

You must be surprised that my family doesn't do bai nian or visiting. We are one helluva unique family. You see, my mom side is still within Ipoh and we meet them almost every month. Meanwhile for my dad side, they are based in Penang. We are just pure lazy to drive to Penang. Furthermore, my grand parents just passed away recently. So yeah, there is no bai nian for me.

It's rather boring you know. Want to go out and hang out but all my friends are busy with bai nian. And most of the shops are close on the first and second day of CNY. Most of the people are having their joyous time during  the first and second day of CNY. But for me, trapped at home and writing this lonely blog.

No matter how much I'm ranting about CNY but I know the meaning of this celebration. It's more than food and new clothes. It's all about the count of chopsticks at the dining table for reunion dinner. We always hope the count will always be the same every year or additional number in near future.

Happy Chinese New Year. May the Fire Monkey Year bring you health and abundance of wealth.