Monday, February 8, 2016

Something I Dislike About CNY

It's the most prosperous time of the year.

I know right, it's pretty scary to know how time flies. I still remember vividly that I had the last reunion dinner with my grandparents last year around this time.

In the blink of an eye, they are gone and today we are celebrating a brand lunar New Year.

I like Chinese New Year ever since I was a little kid. When I was a kid, it was the only time of the year that I could play with firecrackers (back then it was still legal) and brand new clothes. Since I was among the youngest in my family, so I got a lot of pampering and of course, the ang pow. Back then, RM 10 was already a huge amount for me.

But now I'm all grown up now. I still like Chinese New Year since I could spend quality time with my family and the long long break that I have.

However, there are several things which are unwelcoming during Chinese New Year.

I'm not referring to the annual question of "When You Gonna Get Married?". I always have the legit answer for that. My brother will always be the scapegoat since he is still a bachelor.

Alternatively, I could go bitchy and answer "you're just dying to attend the first gay wedding in your life right and guess what? You're not invited."

Anyhoo, let's see if you share any similarities of our dislikes for Chinese New Year:

The Boiling Weather

This year, we are promised that we will have a cold CNY since the cold wind will be blown from mainland of China. Northern Peninsular is said to have temperature around 16 degrees. This seems somewhat legit since Hong Kong and Taiwan were experiencing cold weather before this; HK was at four degrees and snow in Taiwan.

But as time passes, the cold wind has yet to arrive. It is still pretty hot out there. Compared to previous years, it is not so bad this year since it has been raining recently. Previous years, it was rather sticky experience to make visits. Imagining you are wearing brand new clothes which absorbency is still low and you sweat profusely under the hot sun.

Your relative will like "lei hui bin dou lei?! Sap tat tat kam meong"

The Long & Winding Road

It's not really winding actually, it's long, very very long straight road. It is reported that over one million vehicles will leave Klang Valley during Chinese New Year. Inevitably, the highways that lead to our respective hometowns will be congested.

I had to spend like three to five hours just to reach Ipoh in which the normal travelling time is just two hours. PLUS highway has extended one more lane in most of the stretches heading North but it didn't make any difference. I guess the best solution is to have contra flow. Seriously, the opposite side is like a ghost road, barely can see any cars passing by. Why not open a lane in the opposite direction to reduce the traffic volume?

Aside from the highway, this slow pace Ipoh city is also experiencing high volume of vehicle during festive season. That's why I reluctant to drive out. You see, Ipoh is infested with many many traffic lights. You have to wait like two or three rounds until you could pass the green light. To make situation worse, Ipoh drivers are relatively slow. Can imagine the frustration?

The Big Green Bug

It's like those horror movie where the home is attacked by flying insects. Yes, you can have this horror movie experience during Chinese New Year with the big green cicada- scary features with its loud noise.

Few days ago, when I was walking glamorously to a restaurant to have my dinner. Suddenly, this big green cicada fell on my shirt. Aside from frightening, it was an embarrassing moment since I shouted "WTF, get it off!".  I hate this bug so much.

Though it looks frightening, but in Feng Shui, cicada is regarded as a good symbol of immortality and protection against backstabbers. Of course it will ward off the backstabbers. Just throw a cicada at them. Definitely, they will run away. Or when you are suspecting that they are backstabbing you, just pinch the cicada body to make the loud hissing sound - "Shut up you bitches!" 

Since you have many cicadas left, throw some at those gay folks who are trying hard to act straight.

"Sei gay lou, sei hoi dit!"  I bet those gay men will freak out with their highest pitch "OHMYGAWD, get it off get it off!" lol.

Unorthodox Not-Visiting

You must be surprised that my family doesn't do bai nian or visiting. We are one helluva unique family. You see, my mom side is still within Ipoh and we meet them almost every month. Meanwhile for my dad side, they are based in Penang. We are just pure lazy to drive to Penang. Furthermore, my grand parents just passed away recently. So yeah, there is no bai nian for me.

It's rather boring you know. Want to go out and hang out but all my friends are busy with bai nian. And most of the shops are close on the first and second day of CNY. Most of the people are having their joyous time during  the first and second day of CNY. But for me, trapped at home and writing this lonely blog.

No matter how much I'm ranting about CNY but I know the meaning of this celebration. It's more than food and new clothes. It's all about the count of chopsticks at the dining table for reunion dinner. We always hope the count will always be the same every year or additional number in near future.

Happy Chinese New Year. May the Fire Monkey Year bring you health and abundance of wealth.

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