Thursday, December 6, 2012

Miss you the most at Christmas time

It’s December, it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.

 Yes, I do love Christmas and I do believe you share the same sentiment with me. Deck the halls with festive ornaments, hang the star upon the highest bough, wrapping the Christmas gifts for the loved ones, the evergreen Christmas carols and the other good old Christmas customaries that have been practiced for many many centuries.

It’s rather strange for me this year as I don’t feel the Christmas excitement at all. I don’t even have Christmas tree this year. Maybe I’m too occupied with my work or maybe this year I don’t have any date for Christmas.

To be honest, for past two years, I had a perfect Christmas since I had my ex-partners to celebrate with me. Really, Valentine is no way near to Christmas. The ambience of 25th December is far more romantic and sentimental compared to 14th February.  Maybe Christmas revives my childhood memories immensely so the sentimental feeling in December is really overwhelming.

But this year, I don’t even play my favourite Christmas carols. What’s wrong with me? Has Christmas gone away from me?

I’m not sure it has gone away or maybe ive grown up so the sick realistic world has consumed my innocent Christmas sentimental values. One thing for certain, as Christmas is near, my thoughts will naturally recall those empty promises made by my ex partners, two of them in fact.  They nonchalantly promised me to make my childhood dream come true during Christmas but casually, they are also the ones who broke the promise. Wise men said that don’t break a child’s dream or else it will haunt them forever, I guess now it’s a fear for me if someone gives me that promise during Christmas. Oh well, promises made to be broken right?
My friends have been asking me what my plan is for Christmas this year. Let me see my calendar, oh look, it’s blank!

Actually, I do wish that very someone could celebrate the eve with me but I know it sounds pessimistic, a guy like me, everything I wish for will never come true.
Since my Christmas wish this year will remain as a wish only, so on the eve, I just gaze out the window and feel the December wind blows and remembering when you were mine. I miss you.

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