It’s December, it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time
of the year.
Yes, I do love Christmas and I do believe
you share the same sentiment with me. Deck the halls with festive ornaments,
hang the star upon the highest bough, wrapping the Christmas gifts for the
loved ones, the evergreen Christmas carols and the other good old Christmas
customaries that have been practiced for many many centuries.
It’s rather strange for me this year as I don’t feel the Christmas
excitement at all. I don’t even have Christmas tree this year. Maybe I’m too
occupied with my work or maybe this year I don’t have any date for Christmas.
To be honest, for past two years, I had a perfect Christmas
since I had my ex-partners to celebrate with me. Really, Valentine is no way
near to Christmas. The ambience of 25th December is far more
romantic and sentimental compared to 14th February. Maybe Christmas revives my childhood memories
immensely so the sentimental feeling in December is really overwhelming.
But this year, I don’t even play my favourite Christmas
carols. What’s wrong with me? Has Christmas gone away from me?
I’m not sure it has gone away or maybe ive grown up so the
sick realistic world has consumed my innocent Christmas sentimental values. One
thing for certain, as Christmas is near, my thoughts will naturally recall
those empty promises made by my ex partners, two of them in fact. They nonchalantly promised me to make my
childhood dream come true during Christmas but casually, they are also the ones
who broke the promise. Wise men said that don’t break a child’s dream or else
it will haunt them forever, I guess now it’s a fear for me if someone gives me
that promise during Christmas. Oh well, promises made to be broken right?
My friends have been asking me what my plan is for Christmas
this year. Let me see my calendar, oh look, it’s blank!
Actually, I do wish that very someone could celebrate the
eve with me but I know it sounds pessimistic, a guy like me, everything I wish
for will never come true.
Since my Christmas wish this year will remain as a wish only,
so on the eve, I just gaze out the window and feel the December wind blows and
remembering when you were mine. I miss you.
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