Absurd Bannings in Malaysia

It’s great to live in Malaysia.

We have free political dramas, almost on daily basis. And of course, the banning phenomena by the government that ordinary Malaysians fail to comprehend its rationality. In other word, absurdity.

I know the tyrannical government has banned many things, concerts, people and etc until we lost track of it. It’s time to ring a bell. Ting ting…

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Malaysia!

1. Tutus and tights are too sexy!!! But Girl Generation is okay.

Malaysians were left dumbfounded when the Central Agency for the Application of Filming and Performance by Foreign Artistes (Puspal) banned the Singapore ballet troupe from performing in KL as their tutus and tights were deemed indecent. Seriously, I think the people who set the guidelines in Puspal are so inconsistent.

This is too sexy!! Ban!

How to define too sexy and how to define too conservative? It’s okay for Girl Generation to do their Gee in KL but not for the ballet troupe which embraces high values of art? If the government is committed to set decency mindset to us, the KL chicks at the clubs, someday, they will be wrapped in burqa for sure.

2. Malaysia bans gay characters from state TV

This just in! Malaysia decided to ban gay characters from its state TV to thwart the rising of LGBT. Does it make any difference? First of all, I don’t think the LGBT is interested with the state TV programs. I believe LGBT has higher taste. Gay characters in TV won’t make LGBT gay-er as they have distinctive individuality that they don’t need anyone to be their role model. Information Ministry fails to understand that the gay feels sick to watch another gay character sometimes. What they really love to watch is the elegant women, powerful women, women with character and of course, bitchy women – the gay men love them as those women empower them! So let’s see who will be axed from TV – Kurt and Blaine from Glee, Ellen DeGeneres, Neil Patrick Harris, all the men in America’s Next Top Model, Elton John (surprisingly, he performed in Genting last year), Spongebob, Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street – what if the artistes endorse LGBT as well? Will they be axed from TV? Even Obama endorses LGBT, then why not the government ends its diplomatic ties with US?

Too gay! Ban!

Spongebob is too gay!! Ban!!

On On and off concerts

Malaysia is famed for no-show-concert due to disapproval from Puspal. Okay, let’s see the famous names who made to Kuala Lumpur Walk of Disaprove Concerts thanks to the ridiculous Puspal.

· Beyonce because too sexy, she skipped Malaysia and went to Indonesia instead

· Christina Aguilera skipped Malaysia and went to Indonesia instead, God knows why. Seriously, Indonesia is the world’s most populated Islamic nation and they are more open compared to Malaysia

· Lady Gaga concert in Thailand, Singapore and Indonesia but why not Malaysia?

· Mariah Carey was forced to wear jeans and she promised would never return’

· Gwen Stefani wearing slim cut and tight jeans and it was the biggest sacrifice for her in terms of showmanship

· Pussycat dolls was fined for inappropriate dressing

· Avril Lavigne concert nearly got cancelled for her punk values – for crying out loud, she’s a vegetarian!!

· There was no fever pitch for the crowd as the Rain wasn’t allowed to reveal his body

4. It’s prohibited to explain to your children “Where did I come from”

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I guess we have to adopt the Chinese saying when we explain to the kids : babies come from the explosion from the rock. Alternatively, the white storks drop the baby off from the sky in a white blanket just like the Western cartoon. Earlier this year, the book “Where did I come from?” by Peter Mayle was banned in Malaysia because it would cause detrimental to public morals. Okay, so the people learn the natural course of making babies will cause harm to the country?

What the hell? I wonder how the people who have the final say gonna tell their children about honey and the bees. “Daddy, daddy, why my birdy got hairs?” “Son, don’t ask!” That’s it. Bet the son will explore himself on how to make baby in real.

5. Yellow shirts

Remember Bersih 2.0, where people were afraid to wear yellow shirt as the enforcement would assume yellow clad people were the supporters to Bersih 2.0. This is tyrannical Malaysia, even the choice of fundamental freedom choice of colour is controlled!

I wonder what they will ban in near future. Sandals for showing our toes? Bananas because its shape?

I know someday soon, the patrons at the striptease club will be entertained by ladies below: