Friday, April 13, 2012

The deceiving preference

Do we conceptualize love as a preference or more common term ,”my type”?

Yes , we do. Regardless, straight or gay, we tend to fall in love with a fixed mindset that controls on what kind of people you should fall with. Some prefer hunky to knock them down every night, some prefer little tummy for a nice warm hug every night. Some may have preference on the material belongings like what car they’re driving or the monthly income so there will be no issue for their self benefit.

I used to have my type of guy. Pan asian or pan asian look alike - they could always catch my eyes. Not forgetting, tall, fair, thick eye brows, puppy eyes, dimples, naughty look …I think I better stop it right now or else I would look like a whore.

Anyway, fairytale did happen to me. Please get it right, I’m not blogging this entry to talk bad about my ex, we had a peaceful break up. I really hope to use this entry to enlighten people like you that your type of guy will not bring you ever after . I know it right because my ex is so my type, it’s like hitting the million ringgit jackpot…ting ting ting but things didn’t work out.

I mean seriously, until now, he is still my prince charming – fair, tall and soft spoken. I know I sound bimbo here but when he confessed to me , I was like a damsel locked in a castle and he was the prince charming riding in white horse to save me(stop laughing). The way he hugged me and lifted me up into the air, I was like Rihanna, the only girl in the world filled with so much happiness. I was so happy back then as it was like a dream came true.

But that dream was short-lived. We broke up. Though physically he is so my type but we had a lot of differences and arguments. I thought we could work things to mend our differences but he gave up. He gave up to salvage the relationship. He gave up on me. My type of guy gave up on me.

Not only ended the relationship, he also ended my longing and my desire to hook up with my kinda guy. Now I don’t even bother to look my kinda guys anymore. You may call it phobia or my broken heart could never be cured, but I no longer have preference. It doesn’t mean that I’m a whore now so I can hook up with anyone without any regards to the physical appearance. Just that my preference has deceived me.Maybe it’s a good thing for me, so I can see people with a free mind equipped with rationality and objectivity.

Trust me, your preference might be deceiving you. Even he/she treats you badly, you still won’t let go coz your preference is controlling your mindset and you are afraid that it will be hard to find someone who complements your preference. Even you have so many differences, you will keep lying to yourself that you can mend the differences because you’re bounded by the mindset of preference.

Whatever it is, I failed so many times in relationship, I’m not qualified to tell what to do here. Perhaps, find someone is not really your type but he/she can give you so much happiness and care and of course, love.

For me? We shall see.

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