How To Detect Gay Men At Shopping Malls

Do you like to hang out at Pavilion?

I don’t. First of all, I have to brace through a bunch of loitering no-life-losers at the main entrance. The strangest thing is that they only loitering outside of Pavilion, but they do not dare to step into the border approaching the entrance, I guess they are too poor to purchase anything from there.

Secondly, gosh, Pavilion is like focal point of the gay! I have no idea why they like there so much. Someday, Pavilion can change its name to Gayvilion. I think dim-witted JMM has chosen the wrong place to hold LGBT protest. Protest at Gayvillion, you moron!

Anyway, do the gay men in Malaysia are getting more and more mundane? Seriously, all the gay men look the same, dress the same and act the same. Indeed, gay man can easily detect another gay man in his vicinity at shopping malls. In born talent or there are ways to detect gay guy in the vicinity? I believe my points below could somehow guide you to see who is queer and who is not. How to detect gay men at shopping malls?

Grinder, Jack D and Boyahoy

I believe those apps are the simplest way to detect them. If you see a man who constantly who moves finger up and down on the phone screen, you would know what they are doing- they are hunting. BTW, those apps are for gay men to network. I use the word ‘network’ for the sake of my politeness. In other word for ‘network’ is ‘slut’.

Heavily covered face

I don’t mean women in burqa. I’m not against gay men who wear make up to cover up the scars or just to make the face glowing. However, if you see a man whose face is suffocated with make-up, I’m pretty sure he is one. Seriously, is the face is so damaged until need to  apply cement thick make up? Sometimes, I really wonder are they putting make up on their face or putting face on their make up. I’m really confused. 

Unusual sitting position

One night , my girlfriend  and I were at Chatime, and we kept  looking on a guy who sat so straight and crossed his legs. So she asked me, “is he gay?”. My answer: “Definitely. Which straight guy will sit straight up and cross his legs?”

Skin tight shirt

Gosh, gay men are trying too hard to showing off their body asset nowadays. They rather to be trapped in the skin tight shirt just for attention. Can’t they just wear something that they are comfortable with? I’m wondering are they waiting for someone to rip off their shirt. Also, I’m wondering do they go to the toilet regularly for oxygen tank hidden in their bag.

Flashing their skin with singlet

Maybe I’m tiny so whenever I’m at shopping malls, I’ll feel cold easily. However, I have no idea why some of gay men, esp the skinny ones love to wear singlet in such a cold air-conditioned place? To flash their armpits to attract armpit fetish? For the love of God, please shave those armpit hairs! You’re not growing fat choy on your armpits, are you?

The stare of death

This one only applies to gay-to-gay basis. When a gay man looking at the other gay man, somehow, the other gay man will realize then they will look back. Is it a non-verbal communication exclusively for the gay? Come on, I do believe you experience this before esp when you are staring at the cute / hot guy. There are two possibilities that the other person return your stare. One is you look cute/hot/handsome. The other one is you look monstrous. 

Bring a whore out

If the above suggestions fail to guide you, bring your whore friend out. Trust me, without any grinder, boyahoy, jack d, whores know all the gay men in the world!

Beofre I end my note, the recent anti LGBT movement by JMM was kinda bias to us. Why they have to relate LGBT to free sex. Dear JMM, if you do not know what free sex is, let the lady below enlightens you.