Button it up or strip it down?

Aside from facing my baby Macbook daily, the other thing that I encounter daily is shirtless pictures. Shirtless pictures in Facebook and my gosh, shirtless pictures  are every where in Jack D, Grinder and Boyahoy. It’s like virtual sex party there. I guess gay soft porn comes without any price tag.

I know many gay boys/men out there work out in gym to build a nicer body to boost their self confidence and acceptance in the gay community. I know right, gay community is pretty plain shallow circle, everything is perfect when you have perfect body.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not having a bitch feed on those who go to gym – many of my friends go to gym, with the purpose of heighten their strength level and of course to loose some or gain some weight.

But I don’t really understand why once you have the fit body, need to reveal the asset to the whole world? – Be it in Facebook or those gay apps

You can call me conservative but aren’t those bodies are something rather personal and should be kept for your lover or those one night stand partner?

Indeed, they are downgrading this gay community into something cheap, indecent and selling off the body just to gain attention. Maybe that’s why until now I’m still single coz I never reveal my body. I think I should take off my shirt more often and let people see. Maybe I can be hooked up easily by then.

Come on, revealing your body to attract people is nothing much different compared to the hookers on the street. 

Is the gay community that shallow until need to strip it off to gain self-confidence and acceptance and attract people?

I don’t hope so. 

I should not complain so much because thanks to them, i have my daily feed on the soft porn.

Before I end this entry, though it may sound bitchy but I have this warning from BoyAhoy regularly without flashing my skin.

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Eat well. Stay fit. Die anyway.

“Alvin, did you put on weight? Gosh, look at your tummy!”

Well, I didn’t. What you see is just water retention.

Alright, I admit here that I put on weight a little but it doesn’t mean I’m going to skip my dinner or reduce my intake. Eat is the greatest pleasure after sex, why should I skip my meal?

I really don’t understand people will go to the extreme after people commented that they are fat. Sadly, this is reality especially in gay circle. If you have a slightest fat, you definitely will be shunned away. That’s why the gym centers are earning easy money from gay community and there’s where those sluts meet. 

I wish I could have the initiative to hit the gym but nah, I’m a lazy ass. Rather spend time hanging around or just lock myself in the room. 

What if I hit the gym and train myself to a drop gorgeous sexy body?

I guess I will be a headless hunk. What the hell is the headless hunk?

Those hot guys who post their shirtless pictures without their head in those gay social network like Jack d, Grinder and Boy Ahoy.

I mean seriously, nice body but why so shy to hide their face? Too ugly to reveal to the world?

Okay, back to my weight problem.  Should I really pay attention to it?

Let me be a fat ass and post my fat in Facebook. Really, I do respect some people’s guts who dare to post their big fat ass with just undies on into public sphere. Lick my fat! Lick it! 

How I wish can cut those fats and make it as lard.

 

Anyway, I know dieting and exercise or even gym is a good for health  but you will die eventually, so why bother?

Until now, the peer pressure still hasn’t’ struck me yet, I mean comparing myself with those hunk with sexy body. I still could accept my body figure but the only thing I can’t accept is my dull and tired face!

Lastly, don’t care about what people say, you’re beautiful. 

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Bitch please, i've moved on

Last weekend I received a rather unprecedented text message from someone – in fact, it is an apology text message.

After receiving the text message, I felt vindicated somehow – all the angers on him that kept hidden inside of me were just vanished in the haze.

Honestly, I did hold anger and resentment but not to the extend that I wanna take his life.

Let bygones be bygones and thanks for the memories.

Until now, he thinks that I’m still going crazy over him.

Come on, things have changed, you have changed and even I have changed.

I’m not having a bitch feed session here but well, I used to be close with him before, I think I hold a little of prerogative to judge over him here.

Better don’t, later I’ll be labelled as ‘drama queen’ unjustly. Honestly, the one that got away, I mean the old version of him is more caring, happening, polite and fun and geez, I had such a great period of time with him. Compared to now, he is bit arrogant and gosh, he is so serious, even I have to be careful when I wanna poke jokes on him.

Sometimes I do ponder wonder why he has changed but I always remind myself that I don’t own him so it’s not his call to justify himself.

I know the old version of him will be hardly come back and I know the good old times will hardly be repeated but deep down from my bottom of my heart, the old version of him and the good old times are the best I ever had.

So what now?

Emo and waiting for him? Nah, 2012 only left 3 months plus left and it has been pretty bad year so far, I think it’s about time to utilize the remaining days in the year a worth living year. Do whatever I want and live life to fullest – just me,myself and i.

After what I’ve gone through, I don’t hold any resentment on him. I know we are still and we always be good buddy – unless ,one fine day he returns, if he returns, we are truly meant to be.  

For now, bitch please; it doesn’t kill me to make me stronger.

Olympic Hot Boys & Hunks Galore - London 2012 Summer Olympic

So the London Olympic has bid its farewell yesterday with much fête complemented with beautiful fireworks. I guess everyone was pretty excited for the anticipated performance by the Spice Girls after so many years!

So did you watch the four-year-once Olympic? Well, I did watch a bit. I guess every Malaysian was glued to the TV to watch the final showdown between Lee Chong Wei and Lin Dan. Actually, between 2008 Beijing Olympic and London Olympic, there’s no much difference in the badminton result. However, Malaysians should be proud as Pandelela Rinong emerged as the first Malaysian female to win a medal in Olympic as well as the first medalist from non-badminton events. Congrates!

Set aside from my decency, I guess you and I were go gaga over the galore of cuties and hunks during the Olympic. We did especially they went shirtless. This year Olympic has became the platform for countries to unleash the hidden sexy cuties and hunks that took us breath away.

Let’s bring the athletes out:

Ryan Lochte from US swimming team - pix from JustJared.com

Phillipp Boy from Germany's gymnast team. Indeed, Germany male gymnast team has nailed it all in terms of good look -pix from nydailynews

Marcel Nguyen, please like German brand from now on

Gymnast hunks continue with Hamilton Sabot from France  - pix from mogus.com

Sam Mikulak from team USA. Another gymnast hunk and he's only 20 - pix from jennysopencloset

Jake Dalton from USA gymnast team -  pix from fabe lous.com

David Belyavskiy from Russia!

Western countries may dominate the hunk segment but in terms of cuteness, Ryohei Kato from Japenese gymnast team nailed it! CUTE!!

Aside from gymnast, aquatic also made us jaw dropped as well - British diver Tom Dailey and the world is suspecting that he's gay. Of course, cuteness only belongs to gay - pix from justjared.com

Bjorn Barrefors from Sweden. Ikea never fails me. Check out his bulge!

American cocks

Thank you London for the sizzling hot athletes! We shall meet again in Brazil 2016!


Click here to check out the boys in Rio 2016 

Happiness doesn’t last

Happiness doesn’t last, does it?

Happiness will happen and once it is happening, it will be a great enjoyment.  Once the happiness is over, it will be encapsulated in memories that pleasurable to reminisce but it is also heartrending to learn that happiness now is just memories that never could grasp.

Don’t hold on too tight on those memories as it hardly will recur – at least , be thankful that it happened in your life before.

I do have a lot of those good old memories that made me really happy. My childhood, with my friends, high school and of course my ex(s).

When we flashback those happy memories, we tend to reminisce about our ex-lovers or even people whom you fell in love for.

I do reminisce them all the time. Sometimes I do wonder does my happiness is only in the perimeter of memories. You may call me pathetic but everytime I have those sweet happenings, I will remind myself that it won’t last, it will end someday, so cherish it while it last.

I really do cherish all especially those post break up period last year. Sitting next to him while he was doing his work and I was playing my phone, dinner hook ups , those what’s app-ing…err, I should not write more. Thanks for the memories last year, I never been so happy !  I know I will never have those memories again because that person who concerned me so much is missing ever since 2012. But anyhow, everyone that I know goes away in the end.  That’s the fact.

Sometimes I do wonder those sweet words or promises by your  current lover will be a hurtful memories in the future when you guys break up. What is the barometer to gauge the commitment and the life-span of one’s love and one’s attention? Is the time the biggest enemy in all this?

Well, like the Master Sifu in Kung Fu panda says : “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift”. Don’t  frown too much. I know we will have those moments soon. Find a way to make it without those memories. Don’t hold those broken dreams, just hold on to love just like this song:

tinge of emotion of the hurt person

Last Wednesday ,I had dinner with one of my buddies and suddenly there was a cute boy appeared in my sight.

After a long scrutinizing, alas, it was my ex. Gosh, he is so cute.

And of course, he was with his current boyfriend, so I didn’t approach him. I know right, I should go to that table and ask his current bf,” so how do I taste like?”

But I managed to text him. It is so nice to talk with my ex once again. Not to revive the relationship but it has been awhile since we last spoken.

So he asked me whether im single or attached.

As usual, I’m single. He was surprised that I’m single. Not only that, most of people think that I have a bf. Am I that playboy or boyfriend-whore who is always hooking up with someone?

I’m not; I’m just a victim in love sick thing.

Really, people may see me as a happy go lucky but they never know how much strength I need to put a smile on my face.

I really do wish I could express everything out so I could enlighten my world that I need to carry on my shoulder.

I really wish that I could drunk myself out to vent out all the unspoken words that have been hidden painfully inside.

Maybe not. Maybe I should hold my silence, as the silence is the key to maintain the friendship.

I better stop blogging here or else people will label me as a drama queen.  I do hope some people will spare their time to sit down and to learn why this queen has become a dramatic one. Well, I guess some people don’t really bother because they assume Alvin will be fine. To be honest, though I don’t say much but it doesn’t mean I’m fine.

Anyway, on lighter note, my ex housemate who is currently residing in UK just got married. He is the first among my friends in my entire life to have a gay marriage! Congrates and many happiness in return!

Why not I post a song  which beautifully sung by my most favourite couples of all time – Sammi Cheng and Andy Hui. Honestly, nothing in this world can separate this lovebirds – I do hope they get marry soon as well.Just watch the video, they really meant each and every line of the song

Here is the english translation of this song- i hope one fine day, there will be a person who sings this song to me at least, he has the same thoughts and feeling within this song;

唯独你是不可取替

Only You Cannot Be Replaced

Once heard that a lot of love affairs
Don't have results but only leave the tinge of emotion of the hurt person
It made me deliberately avoid it
It is that I don't dare to believe in love
But you unhesitatingly treat me well sincerely
Unexpectedly makes me feel surprised again
Making me give out the same as being loved
All around cheer

If today I am going to lose everything in front of my eyes
I don't care if I have nothing left
Only you cannot be replaced
You are everything in my life

If I knew that I would be fortunate to love you in this life
I should have worked harder for the future at the start
Actually I know it can't happen again
Allow me to keep you for the rest of your life and always love you

Hey Jude, Refrain

It was the most difficult, the most painful but yet the most awakening and the most inspiring weekend over the weekend in my entire life.

With the deepest sadness, my family and I had to bid final farewell to my uncle. Merely two months we mourn the lost of my grandmother, we  had a rude shock that my uncle suddenly left us without any last words.

How would you feel if someone close to you or your family member just gone away forever unexpectedly?

Lost and despair are the most foreseeable feelings ensued. I really do respect my mother as I know she was devastated when she reached the ward and my uncle was no longer there. Despite the grief she had to endure, she managed to be calm and be wide awake to organize the funeral so my uncle has a proper send off. She even managed to organize a post-funeral luncheon for the attendees. I wonder how she could do so many things amidst the painful and grieving period. 

I guess I should learn more from her or at least be inspired by her – to be calm and fix the things no matter how tough the situation is. I’m not sure I’m a calm or maladroit person when facing real-life problems. I can’t judge myself that much but everytime I face problems, I will look it at a bigger picture of the whole situation and see how I can fix up the mess.

I know we have heard a lot of this phrase “Cherish your loved ones before it’s too late”

I used to take the phrase above for granted but I have learnt the meaning of it in the most painful way.

It’s true, sometimes tomorrow never comes for some people or even to yourself, so why frown and hold everything too tight. I know life is meant to be tough and it will leave you with a pool of sorrow – and that’s just the way it is. You either face it with courage or be an emo queen and let the sorrow swallows you whole. 

I know im not qualified enough to tell what you gonna do with your life but I believe God is great and life is short – be thankful of each living day and make each day worth living.

True enough, those love relationship suck big time and definitely will bring you down. Seriously, what I have been through over the weekend, love relationship is a very tiny matter – it doesn’t kill you. 

I know it’s easy to say but hard to work it out especially a love victim like me who always falls for the wrong person who will never love me. Really, my love story is like a series of unfortunate events.

I should not hold on too tight on love sick thing. I believe love comes when it is least expected.

 I think my close friends know that I kinda like a person. To be honest, the person I like is not the same any more. I like the last year version of him, not this current version.

Anyhow, I know life is kinda tough right now and lonely sometimes and filled with broken thoughts, but I know there is always a song will be there for me when the world has turned its back on me: