I've to be honest with you, aside from the timeline, on regular basis, i'll check out Malaysian Gags, a friend ex friend of mine who always posts those "OMJ" bimbo and dramatic posts but no one will like it (when nobody likes his posts he will start tagging people - awesome right) and of course some hotties who always give me soft porn as in always flash their skin. Talking about hotties, i'm delighted that an acquaintance of mine had gone from skinny anchovy to sizzling hottie. I knew he was going to gym thingy but i had no idea what the result ensued. And praise the Lord, i'm not sure he is an attention seeker or confidence booster - he posts his shirtless photos almost everyday. And he even reaped off his shirt at Trick Art Museum in iCity - an archangel he called it. I hope those families with little kids and those foreign tourists won't be aroused by his doing.
Anyhow, the other thing i check in Facebook is that the person that i love harboring my feeling on. I know i'm such a dumbass to do so that but i'm really eager to know how his day was. I know i deserve a tight slap right now as i still couldn't move on although he already attached long time ago. Seeing him with someone else can make me lonely sometimes.
I'm not saying that i don't have friends but i can't bother them all the time. And they have personal space and things to do also. I'm not implying i'm weak either; i can spend my time on my own (sometimes i could be very busy with my work until do not have time for myself). Having said that, i just want to have someone to call my own. Someone that has so much chemistry to be with and someone that has so much admiration on me and vice versa.
However, i will not rush to any relationship just for the sake of being in relationship.I don't know. I don't think i'm ready for relationship. Coz i don't have a hot body to bait anyone just yet. Nah, i still have this orthodox thinking that beauty lies within.
I know the fags out there could simply have relationship like a laundry basis but not me. Well, i used to fall so fast to anyone whom i had little crush on but lesson learnt. Things won't work based on crush and based on simply he is your type. It doesn't work out this way honey.
I guess i'm not the only one who has this thinking, maybe you too. Take things slowly. Don't rush. I know you are afraid that if you don't take action now, he will be gone. But would you rather to take the risk to have another heartbreak without knowing a person and hook up with him which might stand a chance that things won't work eventually?
Conversely, don't hold your silence too long as he maybe isn't sure you're into him or not whereas he is really into you. Actually, there is no 101 in this thing called love. I did hold my silence once and look what the silence has done to me - writing this lonely blog for those lonely souls out there. Silence doesn't always mean yes it may also mean no but it's better left unsaid.
If i ever had the chance to break the silence, i would say this to him "I can't live a day without you in my mind. I think about you all the time"
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