Monday, October 19, 2015

I Belong To Me

"So, what's your plan for Christmas? Sure you don't want to join us?" my bud asked.

"Nah, I'll be celebrating with Eason," i replied.

So who is this Eason? Actually, it's Eason Chan. There's a song by him called "Lonely Christmas".

I know it was a bad joke but  Christmas is ain't far away. Being a sucker for this occasion, I think I shouldn't be worried about who will be my date or my plan will be. It should be fine if my Christmas is all by myself.

Joy and happiness seem hard to come by for me, I foresee. I always ask myself why my friends seem so contended and happy but not for me?

God is not fair? Something wrong with me? Or just the time hasn't arrived just yet.

I don't know. Sometimes my Facebook is just overwhelmed with public display of affection. Alright, they have freedom to post anything they want. I did have those moments before but all those moments were short-lived. It just slipped out of my hands.

No matter how pathetic it sounds, I think I shouldn't rely too much on people to give me happiness. I once believed that happiness should derive from two people but eventually it left me with sadness, disappointment and one helluva of emo-ness.

It will be hard for me to find anyone who fulfilled my needs. Thus, I don't need somebody to complete me, I complete myself. My heart is my possession. I'll be my own reflection.

Yes, it's a lonely place to me but deal with it. Like what Whitney Houstan sings "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all".

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