My fellow readers,
As you reading this entry, my ex-partner and I had ended our relationship two weeks ago. It was a mutual pact for both of us and we believe that breaking up is the best solution for both of us.
You may ask why.
There were many reasons that drove us to the edge to make this decision. I know ending a relationship could be one of the parties' problem. In this case, I might been a jerk in many ways that made my ex-partner to be mistreated.
No matter how many apologies and forgiveness, we both knew this relationship could never be salvaged. He was clearly aware that I had lost interest in the relationship when he realized that I was happier with my friends rather being with him. He knew that many things and many ways that I wanted could not be met by him.
Well, for my end, he deserved better. By having me as his partner, I felt that he was really wasting his time. I shouldn't be so selfish by having him for the sake of being relationship. We only live once, and he should have all the time and youth to find his own happiness. And I'm not that man to give him happiness nor he is the one who give me happiness. I'm an obstruction for him.
I truly hope that he doesn't hold any resentment and regrets as it is useless in a situation like this. Move on and do not ever look back. Do not hold the past until you miss the future opportunities. I know for time being, the feelings are heavy and empty but trust me, time can heal everything.
So what's next for me?
I really don't know. The best thing to do now is to rest for awhile and have some alone time. To be honest, I wish I could just pack my bags and fly to somewhere alone - somewhere like Bali. I saw a travel show couple weeks ago about Bali, it has so much to offer aside from its magnificent beach. Fingers crossed.
In another note, after this relationship, I feel like I'm better off alone. It is like all my exs had enough of me. Maybe I have attitude problems that drove them nuts. Maybe I ain't good enough to be a lover, perhaps, single forever is a new tagline for me.
Whatever it may be, everything will be alright. Breaking up doesn't mean end of the world. It's a new beginning and it starts now.