Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

I didn't know it has been close to a month since my entry. I've been very busy actually.

I wanted to sleep but I guess insomnia hits me again. There's nothing entertaining in Facebook. Wait got one, but it is an attention whore - tagging his sexual position desire with his boyfriend. Yucks.


It was really funny today because someone sent some pictures to me. The pictures depict a very huge mistake that something to do in my profession. It wasn't mistake and I don't think any human with common sense will do that kind of mistake.

I laughed very hard but eventually I felt sad. I felt sad for that person who made the mistake. I learned that she is a year younger than me and she doesn't know the most basic procedure for that little tiny task which is pretty important in my profession.

When I was her age, I achieved so much compared to her.

All my life, I've been comparing with my peers and lamenting that I'm very far behind to be on par with them. But then again, I'm not so bad after all.

Maybe I compare too much. Comparison can lead to jealousy. But on the other hand, comparison can motivate yourself to push yourself further to overcome the people that you compare.

There are two types of people as far I can see.

First, when we are lagging behind compared to others, we are just sitting there and being jealous but doing nothing. If jealousy has reached the peak level, you would kill that person. Joking. I guess most of us will console ourselves by agreeing that just be grateful of who we are right now. Well, this person will never grow and forever stuck there.


Second, when we are lagging behind compared to others, well, we do get jealous but at least we take initiatives to improve ourselves or change to the desired goals. Even better, outdo the people that we were jealous for and make the people jealous at us. I guess it's a fair game.

Don't be lazy if you're left far behind. It's never too late to change. Talking about this, there's a friend of mine who could speak proper English. But then he improved himself by speaking English with me and with his friends. Though it was broken English at first but he didn't mind people laugh at him, he was very determined. He even watched those drama series to learn English. And look at him now, he can speak English fluently, well, mixed with Malay words but I'm very proud of this friend of mine.

Alright, I think I can sleep now. Remember don't be lazy to change and don't be satisfied of who we are right now. There are lots of rooms in our lives that we need to improve.

Good night.