What's next? Heartbreak kid?

I wanted to sleep early actually coz tomorrow it is really huge day for me. But the excitement keeps me awake.

Tomorrow (Monday) will be my last media event with my company. And guess who will be attending my event? Yes, my idol and one of the greatest musicians in Chinese entertainment industry, yes, i'm talking about Jay Chou.

Now you know why i didn't buy any ticket for the concert coz i will meet him tomorrow, why would i waste money right?

I'm very delighted that my idol Jay Chou will be concluding my last media event with my current company. So what's the plan next for me?

Well, few days after that i'll be having Raya break and few weeks after that i'll be jobless. Sad right? Until now i still don't have any offer though the interview appointments are aplenty.

Aside from aiming to get a job by September, i don't have any plan installed for me after i end my one month notice period. Thought of travelling but i don't dare to do so coz I'm not sure until when i'll be jobless, so it's good to save up more.

What a daredevil right? Resign without an offered job.

My BFF asked me whether I'm scared or worried that i'll be jobless.

To be honest, i'm really worried. Though i have the faith but what if the faith doesn't favour me?

Well, worry will be useless in times like this. So live life to the fullest. I know nobody says that life is easy but life is short, we don't know what will happen next. Who knows i'll be shot dead when i step out from the house. 

So here i am, at the crossroad again and ask myself what i really want in life.

One thing for sure, i will never quit the media industry because i'm so passionate about it and it is so vibrant. I know media industry will never work 9 to 6 but if you love the career so much, time is not an issue.

Okay, Alvin, aside from career, what you want in your life?

I know i can't have family and kids coz i'm living in an alternative lifestyle. I guess my life will be pretty lonely ahead as my girl friends will eventually get married someday and my gay friends will settle down with their partners.

Material aside, i want 'home' , 'love' and 'family'. Maybe you share the desire with me coz ultimately - these three things are the ones who will accompany you until you die. 

Okay, i'm being too decent here. I'm not quite a believer in true love in gay relationship. If true love doesn't happen sooner or later - why not I succeed in my career undertaking and achieve five figures every month, or close to it. With all the materials in the world and the figures in my account, then eureka, i could be a heart break kid and a player.

I'm not joking, you see, we always be the heart broken ones, why not we rise up and say no more to heart breaks and tears and transform ourselves to be a jerk and fling around like Taylor Swift does. Accumulate all the cuties or the people like to flash off in Facebook, and have a helluva good time in dating and on the bed of course. And yeah, the gay guys who like to show their tetek (tits) in the public. Im not joking, nowadays I see a lot of fit guys wearing revealing singlets until can see their tits.

 Like what the hell? Tits are so sexually sacred and they reveal their tetek in the public. I bet 10 years soon, they will reveal their dick head.

I'm so sorry for my indecency. But that's my little disturbing fantasy and desire.

I don't know what life ahead will bring me but I know there is God above who always guide me and never forsake me like the song below 'I surrender all of me to You so my soul will be peaceful with Your guidance"

One of my favourite song from one of my favourite female local singers - Ku Mohon, Sheila Majid