How to confess that i'm gay?

So Charice made the headlines recently by admitting herself that she's lesbian. Though is okay for her to come out in  US but she's from Philippines, a country which has a strong Catholic base. I hope her home country still loves her for what she is.

I don't know about you but i feel like the term ' coming out from closet' is rather derogatory for the gay folks. You know it's like we are living with a big secret and living in a seclusive lifestyle.I don't get it, why closet? Are those gay folks from Narnia?

Why "coming out" confession at the first place? Why does it applies to gay only? what about straight men? "Look i'm straight and i fuck pussy".

I've been living an alternative lifestyle for all my life. I have no problem to admit my dirty little secret to my friends but when it comes to my family, it is still a big taboo for me. I'm afraid that having a gay child in the family will be a huge embarrassment and disown me eventually.

But anyhow, i'm not young anymore, one fine day they will be curious that why until now i don't have a single girl partner.

I think they know i'm queer since i dont have any girlfriend for all my life and some of my friends are rather soft.Maybe they know but don't want to confront me. Maybe they don't want to face the truth.

Anyhow, if that day comes, how to confess and admit that i'm gay?

• Hold your partner's hand and tell to your parents :"Look, we are together"
• Purposely unlock the door and make helluva of noises when you are having sex with your partner to pique your parents curiosity - then when they open the door to find out what's going on - pretend to be innocent "Oh shit, mom, i can explain"
• Be an epic hero and tell your parents straight in their face - "Hey you two, i'm gay"!
• Beating around the bush until your parents have enough = "Mom and dad, what you think about gay people? I don't know, they look happy for me.What if you have a child who is gay? Now gay is very acceptable around the world" -keep talking for 10 minutes til your parents give in "Son, i've got what you mean, you are gay" - easier right?
• Ask your best friend to tell your parents, tell it in a comforting way - "Aunty, you know your son loves guys. It's okay to be gay nowadays. He is still your son and he loves you a lot"
• Play the blame game - "Thanks to you two! Thanks for the shitty bring up, you two forced me to become gay!!"
• Watch gay porn in a exposing way and pretend to be innocent again - "Look, i can explain, the porn girl will be in the scene soon!"

I know this entry of mine sounds gay. If you are a straight man and happens to be a homophobic, please don't judge us by talking cocks about us. Trust me, we are better in dealing with cocks than you do.