Feeling - game for it?

Oh well, it's already the last day of July. Some of my close friends asked me where the heck is my prince charming.

He is right beside me right now while i'm writing this entry.

Just joking. Well, i'm still a loner writing this lonely blog for my lonely readers. Not lonely but rather mixed kinda feeling really- feeling relieved and worried that i'll be jobless soon. But i have so much faith in finding a new job that i could sing the George Michael's song "Faith" out loud.

Anyway, let's talk about love. Apparently, my friend was ditched by his unofficial partner - he lamented that the guy was playing his feeling all along - typical.

I know you have heard this 'playing with my feeling' a thousand times or maybe you are one of the victims. Trust me, i had been that victim for many times. That's why i built a fortress which is so tall that no one could enter and capture my heart.

Like seriously, why people playing with your feeling at the first place?

Because you opened up your heart for them to play with your feeling. So you really can't blame those players, blame yourself for being so vulnerable and exposing for people to trespass the vicinity of your feeling.

My dear, just be a little tougher and wiser on the people approach you or wanting to get close to you. Things might not be the way you wanted to. Yes, happy ending can be a possibility but the possibility is overshadowed by disappointment most of the time and i could bet that. In the end of the day, the winner is the player and you're just a small loser.

Sound familiar right?

It might be your sad story. Believe me, that's my sad story also.

Maybe it's a curse, i have this almost-hook-up-into-relationship kinda situation with the people i really fell into. I know once you fell into deep, it's very hard to get back to the ground. The deeper you go, the deeper you are in the world of fantasy of both you together. The deeper you go, the higher amount of hope you harbour on that player. And yes, the deeper you go, the bigger disappointment in the end.

It sucks to be honest with you. Wasting your time, wasting your energy and wasting your youth. But maybe we were born to be losers cause we enjoy it so much. True enough, i did enjoy the period when i was so close with my so called crush but good lord, once he hooked up with someone else and literally ditched me , it was so painful and emo! I thought we would be together but it didn't happen. Such fool! No doubt, i was angry with him why he had to play with my feeling but after much soul searching, i was the one to be blamed coz it takes two to tango. I should blame myself to be so open that time.

Well, once bitten twice shy - i know it's painful but i hope you be wiser enough to protect your little fragile heart. I know handsome and cute guys are hard to resist but would you date a person who has superficial beauty but not the beauty that defines within? And please don't ever think people get close to you is a hint that he wants to hook up with you - maybe he is just bored or maybe he really enjoys your company.

Food Bites: First Garden Hawker Stall, Wanton Mee and Big Tree Foot

People really love my food taken in Instagram, aren't you?

Really, i'm not good at adjectives in describing the taste and the texture of a food so i'm little reluctant to change my blog to a food blog. I'm really comfortable with my gay and love blog currently lolz...

But since i love to eat, why not i share my favourite food here with you. And you are lucky that i'm back in Ipoh over the long weekend and can't deny that Ipoh is an haven of food.

Let's check out what i eat over the weekend:

I'm a huge fan of hawker food. And if you are craving for Sotong Kangkung (Squid and water spinach), head to First Garden Hawker stall (the hawker area where they have the Pasar Malam on Friday night). Though the hawker stall is rather shoddy but don't let the outlook fool you as it is hidden with good food that i've been loving it since i was small. Okay, back to Sotong Kangkung ( it only opened during the day), it's the best Sotong Kangkung ever. The sauce is laden with sesame and peanut and it is a perfect match to augur the freshness of the sotong and the kangkung. Every bite of yours would definitely be the crunchy sound of the freshness of the sotong and the kangkung.

The stall also has the best Fruit Rojak ever!! What is so special about this rojak stall is its sauce. The sauce is a strong  and thick shrimp paste texture! The uncle of the stall is so generous that you will be amazed with the amount of the peanuts he pours! I have to admit here that the rojak is so nice until i will use my spoon to scoop and eat the sauce. It's that nice!

Don't forget to quench your thirst with the Ipoh's only Wan Tou Long. You will like "What?". It's jelly ice. What? Okay, it's ai yu ping for KL folks. Wan Tou Long is incomparable with Ai Yu Ping as the jelly is thicker and the jelly is rather tasteless. Yes, tasteless but when you eat it with shaved ice and coconut milk/lime juice, Eureka! The perfect blend!

Location: First Garden Hawker Centre (opposite Indah water treatment)

The best wanton mee? Sorry, i don't know the name of shop though i've been supporting it since i was small but it is few shops next to Lucky Restaurant at Jalan Pasir Puteh, Ipoh. What so special about this shop: they have spongy wanton mee, fresh vege, the strong taste of pickle chilies and and the clear and sweet wanton mee soup - they have it all to have the best wanton mee! 

Location: Few shops next to Lucky Restaurant, Jalan Pasir Puteh Ipoh

If you still have empty spaces left in the stomach after the wanton mee, take a few minutes drive to Big Tree Foot (direct translation - Dai Shu Geok) hawker stall. I know you have read it all from other blogs but just want to share with you that you should go to the next stall. Really, since the big tree is loaded with people all the time and you have to wait forever, just go to the next shop. They are the same people anyway but it's cleaner and less people. Crunchy stuffed food and the tasty noodle - yummy!!! By the way, if you are in Ipoh, please don't call the stuff food as Yeong Tau Fu, that's KL, Ipoh calls it Yeung Liew.

Location: 652, Jalan King, Pasir Pinji, 31650 Ipoh

Heartbreaks and Tears

In times when you hit the lowest point in your life, you would wish that very someone who doesn't concern about you would concern about you.

Let me ask you this, is that worth it? Is that fair for you?

There is no fairness in life, isn't it? The person you wish to be with for so much doesn't turn out the way it seems. And while you are reading this, the person that you want to be with so much most probably having good time with his partner now.

What about you? You are just a sad loner who is reading my blog.

I know you miss him pathetically but he is with other right now. Why couldn't you move on as in really move on by getting rid of him outta your mind. You will learn to let go in the hardest way - heartbreaks and tears are inevitable.

Let's get emo in this entry. What will you tell to the very someone person that you like but never shows affection toward you?

What about me? Well, i'm not liking anyone right now so i don't have comment on this. Well, if you insist, then let me share with you what i want to tell him:

"I'm the best you will never have"

Just joking. There's no more talk between us ever since he has been snatched away by someone else who is far more successful and hotter than me.

I'm just a little timid boy on the bleacher.

Seriously, no point for me to miss him though i really wish that he is mine hahaha- nah, if fate doesn't allow, why i need to force myself?

Well, if we were together, i think we could have been a very sweet item. Teasing each others, have a unwinding dinner after long day at work and movies during the weekends and help me to decorate my Christmas tree. Simple but yet it's already meaningful for me. 

But young man, things will not work out as you wish for. Be wise and don't let others break your heart again. Be the fierce bitch so no one dares to approach you. If you wish upon a star, the star is already dead by the time the light reaches the Earth. 

Let me tell you this:

A wise boy kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe and leaves before he is left.

I've resigned

Sorry as I've been hiding from you guys for a week now.

For past one week, it was not an easy period for me as I've decided to take a bold step to tender my resignation. You might think that I'm leaving for better offer but this isn't the case.

Yes, I'm leaving my current job without any next job installed for me. That's right, I'll be jobless in end of next month after serving my one month notice period.

I know this is a very risky and unwise move that I ever took in my career as I could not guarantee that I will have a job after month notice.

Why I resign?

It has been three years and a half I've been attached to my current company. Indeed, it has been a valuable learning ground for me to groom myself to be a Public Relations practitioner. I'm very proud that I could have the golden opportunities to handle big international brands which would polish my résumé/portfolio for my career advancement.

But three years have passed, job scope  has become mundane, career path has become stagnant and corporate ladder is not there for me to climb anymore. I've been spending too much time in my comfort zone.

I still execute my obligations and responsibilities for my clients but without any fire and passion in me anymore. I know the best practice is to leave when you have secured the next job but I defied the common recommended practice and resigned because it has reached my threshold and I could not go further anymore. 

Please respect my decision.Absolutely no regrets and please move on with me.

For those who are in the dilemma of thinking want to quit or not, let me tell you this, quitting doesn't mean you are loser if you have tried your best or even you have achieved so much and gained so many valuable experiences. When you think you have enough, it's time to move on my dear.

If you're so afraid to take the chances, how you gonna to reach the top? The success favors the bold.

Try to have no regrets when you have already made your thorough decision and honor your decision. If you stuck at the same position of your career advancement and you think that you deserve more, if you have no liabilities, just quit. There's a whole world out there waiting for you to explore. I know what's in me and you is out there. 

Each step is the hardest,you gotta be patient. I know you will make it.

I still love PR and communication industry , so if you know any related vacancy, please do inform me. 

Before i end my entry, here is a little divine quote for you:

Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning - Trust Him

Alvivi Hot Soup And Minions Hysteria

Actually, there is something i would like to share with you who  but it's not timely yet. Let the dust settle first before i make the huge announcement. It is so huge that it will change my life ahead.

So let's see what is making the headlines this week.

Well, i'm so famous that my name is all over the media lately. Alvin this Alvin that. Thank God that my surname is not Tan or else I would be cursed vehemently.

Yes, i'm talking about Alvin Tan from the famous sex blogger Alvivi. Apparently, Alvin and Vivian caused a huge stir in Malaysia by posting a controversial picture depicting break the fast of Ramadan by eating Bak Kut Teh (herbal pork soup). It is highly sensitive for our Muslim friends and it is totally uncalled for.

I never thought people would go to that extend of triggering other religion's sensitivity just for the fame. Anyhow, both couple were thrown in the jail for their unwise and insensitive move. I'm glad many non-Muslim Malaysians stood up for our Muslim friends.

Though the punishment has meted out but don't you think there is an unjust enforcement going on here. We have seen many politicians uttered so many insensitive and hurtful words to non-Muslims but there is no action has been taken. Do you remember Zulkifli Nordin? What about Ibrahim Ali? They are still walking as free men even though their words are utmost hurtful as if the Chinese and Indians are not welcomed in Malaysia anymore. What about the daily which asked what Chinese wants? Why the law enforcement goes so fast for Alvivi but not on Zulkifli Nordin and Ibrahim Ali? Is there any selective prosecution here?

I let you decide.

The other news that is making headline is the yellow Minions hysteria.

To be honest, i'm part of the craze. Since MCD will start selling the week 3 Minions from Despicable Me at precise 12 am on Thursday night, to avoid disappointment, i went o MCD at SS 2 at 1100 pm.

And my God, the queue was up til to the road outside. As the minutes were closer to 12 am, the queue stretched as far as the horizon.

As the clock strike 12 am, everyone was so stressed that they were afraid that they couldn't get what they wanted as the queue was pretty long. Even i was indulged in this stressful moment for the toys.

After one hour of queue, it was my turn, to my disappointment, i only managed to grab Stuart Light Up Grabber, Babbler has sold out just 45 minutes after selling. At 1 am, the MCD in SS2 has sold all the Minions!!

This is crazy, sold out in one hour!

You may say this to me: It is just a toy. Well, yeah, but i really adore Minions. Don't you think they are so cute especially the language they speak which we have no idea what language is that.

I even called my mom to check the situation in Ipoh but she has confirmed has been sold out as well.

Damn it!

Though my collection is not complete but i'm kinda proud of what i have now. I know the auctioning is like crazy in ebay and forums, why not i offer you this: each minion, the price i offer for you is RM 400, will you buy it from me?

Everything will be alright

I thought July would be the month for me but turned out to be the opposite.

Lately, the bad luck never seems to leave alone, not every single thing has went on smoothly. What will you do if things do not turn out your way for like weeks? Moving along? Go to temple and pray? Or have faith in God.

I'm not a devout monotheistic but i believe whenever the doors are closed for you along the path, it doesn't mean the end for which God is leading you to the perfect goal.

This week and next week will be very crucial for me. It may be a leap of fate or a downfall though it seems downfalls all the time recently. But perseverance still seizes the day.

Maybe you are the same boat with me - having long day at work and nothing seems right. People around you just shunning you away and you are pathetically single (not me) without any warm loving arms for you to rest on.

My dear, all those shit happening around you, I assure you, it doesn't kill you.

Not to worry because worry is useless and wasteful in times like this. Don't think you are useless coz you weren't made to be useless. Don't be despair as what you are having now is just temporary.

Gather yourself around your faith and light up for the light does the darkness most fear. Everything will be alright as in the end, only kindness matters.

I'm the Queen Diva, worship me

"I'm the Queen Diva. Fall on your knees and worship me!!! Muahaha" decreed the Queen Diva.

"No!! We will never surrender to the Queen like you. youre a monster", shouted the hunks.

"You dare to defy me?!! HI'm offended! Let me eat you up!! Nom nom nom..," said the Queen Diva.

There goes the hunks.

Sorry for being overly dramatic in my starting. Trust me, i'm not the queen diva. Well, i do admit i'm bit diva and drama sometimes but rest assured, I'm not a Queen nor the Primadonna.

Alas, another gay entry by a gay man talks bad about gay men. 

Straight men don't like sissy. Actually, most of the gay men don't like sissy gay men as well. But since they are part of us, sissy boys or men are not big issue for me though I do admit they irk me sometimes. sissy boys are still okay but please don't over do it, just composed. Muscle mary is the worst thing happening in gay circle. Really, i was walking at gay villion, then there was a hot tall hunk standing next to me with his A&F shirt, so his body was simply marvellous. But when he started to talk with his friends, goodness,  i was frightened to the core. His hand was like stitching in the air! 

So my question here is that since we are gay, does the true and genuine manhood is a forgone thing? 

I know sissy and even muscle marry can't be changed in just blink of an eye because they are embracing who they are and that's it a really worthy thing to do.

What i'm confused here is that why some ( i said some) of the gay men don't embrace the values of straight men? 

I'm not asking you to watch football like straight men do, i mean more like being open minded, forgiving,not being dramatic and not being bitching around.

Why not follow Chris Crocker's foot steps and repent? Gosh, from a drama queen, he transformed himself to a hot hunk, RESPECT! (Chris made his temporary fame with his "Leave Britney Alone" video)

BEFORE

NOW

He knows i'm unfaithful

So, it was my routine scouting on the boys in my vicinity in Jack D. Bull's eye! Got one hottie without a shirt on. Then, i clicked to view his profile and the boy look familiar - isn't he attached and he has a lovely boyfriend who loves him to bits?

Maybe i'm conservative and old school and couldn't comprehend of gay culture today. Is it alright to pose shirtless picture and showing your body off in social network especially those gay social network like Jack D and Grinder when you are already attached? For me, those attached people shouldn't have those apps at the first place.

(I'm writing the scenario below as if you are attached)

Revealing your skin off in the public realm definitely will attract lots of attention , it will be greater extend if your have a hot and sexy body figure. Those attraction inevitably will pique the people's curiosity to know about you more and they will start a conversation with you. Sooner or later, phone number exchange happens and someday soon, dating will take place.

Four things ensue next; either the guy you date with is not your type and friends forever OR you are attached and couldn't commit anything, so just have a fling and have an One Night Stand with him OR your date is far more better than your current boyfriend, why not two timer OR ditch your current boyfriend and start a new relationship with your date?

I know it sounds superficial but it does happen in gay circle. Cheating your another half is such a norm here. Perhaps, man to man relationship doesn't have a proper recognition like legitimate marriage so why so serious, just fling and change love partner as if change the clothes. If you are into no string attached kinda lifestyle, i bet that 6 out of 10 men you slept with were attached.

Come on, be honest with me, did your partner or your ex boyfriend cheat you before? Of course they did and only it only takes a par excellence acting skill like Oscar winner to hide those unfaithful activities from you. Well, my ex did cheat on me too , he was meeting someone while he was in relationship with me.

So yeah, maybe i'm a fragile person, i could not handle unfaithfulness from my partner, it is like end of the world for me because my trust on him has been misused. I felt like i was a big dumbass and lived in a fantasy of happily ever after with him.

What about you? If your partner cheated on you, what will you do?

Forgive him and move on? Honey, once get caught doesn't mean that he would repent. There will be second time and third time. The best move is to cut his dick off   ditch him off and move on. You deserve better, who wants to date with a big fat lier anyway. Unless you are a moron and naively think that he would change.

That's why i choose to be single for time being. I can't handle those cheating sick things.

Oh yeah, back to the shirtless attached guy who appears in Jack D.

Will let your partner to do that? No, i won't. I know i'm bit controlling here - i don't even want to see those gay social app in his phone. Not that i don't trust my partner but i'm a pretty jealous kinda guy. I would be annoyed if people message him. Coz my partner is the only one i love and i don't share - not even think to have few inches to the perimeter of my partner.

Okay, you are open enough and letting your partner to know more friends with his body. I admire your generosity to let the public to view your partner's flesh and skin but don't cry out loud if he dumps in the end.

Talking about sexy boy in Jack D, i should text him and hopefully he will end up on my bed tonight. Just joking, tomorrow is Monday, not in the mood for hanky panky and indecency.

P/s: this entry doesn't not apply to models, swimmers, b2b masseurs, strippers or whatever profession that need to reveal the body.

2013: the story so far

Half year has passed and what you've done so far? Did you make it up for your resolutions or are you still struggling to achieve the bloody resolutions which you have set for yourself at the start of 2013.

I don't know about you but for me, the first half was pretty alright. I didn't achieve any resolution just yet but i did make my dream come true. I know you will laugh at me for saying this but i finally made a trip to Disneyland. It was simply a magical trip in Hong Kong.

Since it's already July, let see the progress of my resolution for 2013.

Change Job 

It was either i didn't possess the good vibes of first impression or the expected salary i requested was far beyond they could afford. For the first half of 2013, i've been through many interviews and i was delighted that big brands approached me but ended up nothing in the end. I'm still with the same old company. Not complaining coz i do enjoy what i'm doing and this December, my experience in this stressful PR industry will be exactly four years. I think i can attempt managerial level from now. I could not imagine the fate of the people under me.

Anyway, to be honest, i don't earn big bucks. So among my peers, some earn lesser than me and some earn more than me. Well, i don't really like to share how much my salary is coz it's rather private for me but i don't know why some people is dying to know my figure. And that very some people apparently earn more than me. Seriously, if you earn more than me why bother to ask me? Implicit move to belittle me and look down on me?

He even dare to ask me this question "Do you feel jealous that i earn more than you?" . Well, i don't. You earn more, I'm happy for you. I lead a decent life and not those lavish lifestyle and i'm very contented of what i have now.

To be honest, yes, some companies has rejected me but hey, i did decline some offers from some big companies as well, i'm just waiting for the right time and the right job okay. It's like the green light at the end of Daisy's dock in Great Gatsby. So close but it's still out of reach. But once i have reached the light, i don't really mind to share my new salary with that person.

New Car

I'm not really rushing for one though but recently, i did some test drive on several brands - Rio, Fiesta and Prius C. Well, i'm not sure when i have a new mobil but i'm looking forward for the last quarter of 2013. Why? Because the car that i want requires 3 months of waiting period and the more i prolong, the more i can pay for my down payment. Once i have it, definitely it will boost my ego, come on, let me show off a bit coz i've been humble for so long. Or else that very someone will look down on me again with my old car. Yeah, i have this silent war in outdoing each other but i take it healthily. 

Travel

My Hong Kong trip was with my friend so i do look forward to have another overseas trip with my mom this time. I think more than 10 years i never travel overseas with her. Let's see any good deals in MATTA Fair. I'm looking for either Beijing or Shanghai, maybe you can suggest me the best place to travel with family - please bear in my mind that i'm the one who will pay for my mother, so please give me some ideas that will not be painful for my wallet.

Relationship 

Not in my list for 2013 but if it comes, i will be more than happy. July is the month of love for me and i believe opportunities arise in this very month. But i doubt so coz the quality of gay men/boys are going down. Don't believe me? just scroll down your Facebook, you will see the gay people are too poor to buy a shirt or too proud with their armpit hairs. [Not you, JL] Don't forget the bimbos too! 

So yeah, gay circle is getting too mundane like everyone is like the same for me now. But don't bother me much coz i'm not looking for one for now but if it the prince comes, i definitely will leave my stilettos for him to pick up.

So it's July, I wish you a great second half of 2013 ahead. Just kick some asses and fulfill your resolutions for this year. Like what Jay Chou sings "Let's ride the sunshine, dash against the tide on the sea, attract her sight and don't be afraid to show your chest and perspire some sweat!"