Sunday, December 22, 2013

If I Die Young

I never really bothered about my health until recently.

So I went to clinic as I was down with migraine for past few days. The GP checked my blood presssure and the result was simply jaw-dropping. The doctor looked at me without any verbal cues then she rechecked my blood pressure again. Then, she flipped my previous medical records.

"Alvin, do you know you have high blood pressure?", she asked.

I was like WTH! Since when i had this medical problem?

My reading was 145 mm Hg whereas the normal reading would be below 120. It was pretty bad reading as any reading betwen 140-159 mm Hg would be Stage 1 hypertension.

So what the heck is hypertension?

Hypertension or commonly known as high blood pressure is a chronic ( i hate the word 'chronic'- the connotation is so negative which implies that gonna die fast) medical condition in which the blood pressure in arteries is elevated. Consequently, the heart has to work harder to pump the blood to circulate to whole body through vessels. To make matter worst, hypertension is a major risk for stroke, heart attacks and heart failure.

Sounds so serious right? Occasionally, i had this buzzing or hissing in the ears but i never really give a damn about it. My fingers sometimes would be numb if my heartbeats went unusually fastl. I never knew these are the symptoms for high blood pressure.

It's not end of the world for me as the best way to overcome hypertension is by adopting a healthier lifestyle which i'm struggling and reluctant to do so.

Anyhow, life is something unpredictable. We don't dictate our mortality. God is the only who will dictate.We are just His subjects playing guesses on what is ahead of us.  What if i die young and God calls me home? Will i leave this world with all the glories and pride or regrets and disappointment?

Actually there is not a single regret in life. I believe i have been a leading a righteous life although i'm gay. I believe we should take it easy in life because nothing is ever as it seems.

If i could turn back time to once again recalling the defining moments of my life, definitely, i would go back to my childhood. I was so happy back then without any worries and with abundance of love.

Let me end this entry with my favourite childhood song below. Everytime i hear this song, i would recall myself in my dad's car and asked him to turn the volume higher coz i loved this so much back then. As what Michael Learns To Rock sings: sometimes i wish i was a sleeping child, being covered and keeping the world away that is so wild.