This isn't the first time

A few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find


What a sad intro right?

You see, my close friends have been warning me not to fall into too deep on my recent affection of someone. Affection or infatuation  it doesn't matter to me now as things are better to be remained as friends.

I told you that the people that i'm interested in will not reciprocate the same amount of feeling in return.I'm not sure something is wrong with me that drive people away - my attitude problem? or i'm not attractive at all physically.

Nah, not sad about at least he is not avoiding me.Maybe the best for me is just watch people fall in love and i die in jealously.

What is so good to have relationship anyway? Love doesn't know eternity in my community. I guess love in  gay circle is forced by desperation or even captured by the look rather than the true implicit values the person possesses. Deep and meaningless, twists and turns -that's love for what i can see now.

This isn't the first time and won't be the last time that i'm going through this. But i ain't sad over it.